Lifting the lid of my wicker kink basket, I eye up the various different harnesses on offer and go in to deep thought.
Each and every offering has its own style, practicalities, and personality. Very soon one of them will be placed upon my body and then their character will blend with my and accentuate why own features and mannerisms.
Deciding on a slick vegan offering, I pull out my selection and then move to my other drawer. It’s time to select my cock of choice and this, too, is a significant undertaking.
What’s In a Strap On?
The strap on dildo is a rare and venerable object with a history that spans back as far as that of humankind itself.
Evidence has linked strap on devices to as far back as the Upper Palaeolithic period which is about 10,000-50,000 years ago. At least, that’s what Wikipedia tells me. Ancient China, Greece and India have all shown evidence of strap on dildos and in the 19th century artist Édouard-Henri Avril gifted us all with a painting of two ladies indulging in strap on interactions, which I think we can all be thankful of.
A print of the image offers a delightful and mesmerising glimpse in to the two women Avril’s mind conjured in to life. Transparent pastel garment has been tossed underneath a thicker, brown fabric still present at the edge of the bed. One of the ladies featured has stripped away her footwear whereas the one sporting a strap on has paired the choice with strappy sandals too.
Unshaven armpits and a full vulva of hair are clearly on display and although the lady lying down is about to receive the intense gaze and grasping motion of her hand suggests full, dominant confidence. It’s no wonder either, as an additional strap on shown to the side suggests that she has just topped herself.
The intricate interplays of identity, self-confidence, and sexual power are all so wonderfully depicted in this image and all of them are equally at play when I pick my own strap on and strap on dildo.
Strap ons aren’t just for LGBTQI individuals, nor are they strictly just for penetration either. Some of my best experiences have been when I lube up, insert the welcoming bulb of a strapless strap on dildo and then play intimately with my new found shaft.
Each tugging hand sensation makes the bulb inside of me nudge up to my G-Spot, creating subtle sensations which I then clench around to feel with more clarity. Rolling eventually on to my side, I squeeze my thighs together and draw it in further. The climaxes are some of the best.
Strap ons, as I suggested at the start of this article, are also much more about roleplay and persona then some might initially imagine. If I’m wearing a pair of strap on briefs then my demeanour is confident…matcho…perhaps even smug. I feel more intertwined with the masculine elements of myself and may become either a butch lady or a wry male depending on where my genderfluidity takes me. All of this is led by the harness itself, it becomes part of the performative nature of my sexual encounter.
In comparison, my mind lights up with the psychopompic possibilities of this pretty-in-pink strap on suspender set. The dildo is PVC – an unforgivable sin – but my mind doesn’t care. It inserts a Vixen Mustang in to the picture instead and a luminescent rainbow wig. Perhaps a piece of bubblegum which I chew in a cavalier manner before blowing a balloon with it and allowing it to pop as I get down to business satisfying a swooning playmate.
Hit me up if you’re down to clown suspender-style.
Strip the façade away and you’re left with the beautiful simplicity of the entry-level and easy to use introductory strap on set. My early strap on experiences were with such products and I have never lost a fondness for them. Not just because they’re so wonderfully simple to adjust and use but also because they tend to come with a dildo included. The more fun to fuck with the better.
One of the best things about strap ons, however, is that even in the case of those that come with a toy you are never limited to just that toy. Strap on harnesses and strap on dildos represent diversity, freedom, and selection in your own sexual style. As long as the O-Ring insert allows it, you are free to mix and max as you choose and to explore all different types of play.
This is something I personally gain and strongly value from strap ons and why, even when I’m independent of a lover, they play an important role in my sexual identity.
Looking back to Édouard-Henri Avril’s piece I see the commanding potency that strap ons have afforded the women featured and I feel the palpable potential that modern society perhaps underplays. Strap ons nowadays are often seen as either taboo, commonplace, or a novelty. An odd combination.
Still, it’s hard to get frustrated about the seemingly contradictory nature of the public’s response to strap ons, precisely because it is so emblematic of the diverse nature of the objects themselves.
A strap on is, at its core, a tool of transformation and the invitation is gives is one of reinvention, affirmation, or just a damned good fuck.
Of course, I don’t knowingly think about all of this when I pick out my harness and strap on dildo. Instead, I’m left there contending with the extensive selection of shafts that I can adorn in that moment. Because, let’s face it, any dildo can become a strap on dildo if it has a flared base, but what that dildo brings to a sexual session (and to you) is another thing altogether.