There will never be a day when I tire of the PalmPower range.

Honestly, it’s true.

These toys never fail to impress me.

Not because they’re always ‘changing the industry’ nor providing ‘new and exciting innovations.’

Quite the opposite.

It’s because they’re so reliably, unendingly consistent.

Consistent in their quality, product design, and strength.

And y’all know I’m all about strength.

I’ll be frank with you right from the start here – if you have a PalmPower wand already then you’re likely not going to need this product.

You’re set; absolutely covered for life when it comes to mini wand delights.

If, however, you have never had a PalmPower toy before then this is the one I think you should go for.

And, yes, I do rank this toy as one that I can highly recommend.

Let’s look at why.

The BMS Factory PalmPower Plug & Play Massager Corded Rechargeable Wand Vibrator

The BMS Factory PalmPower Plug & Play Massager Corded Rechargeable Wand Vibrator BMS Factory PalmPower Plug & Play Massager Corded Rechargeable Wand Vibrator is the very definition of an ‘If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’ kind of product.

PalmPower mastered their wand formula a few years back and, ever since, they’ve been going strong with it. The major differences they’ve introduced is that one is mains powered only, one is recharge primarily, and this one is what I would call a ‘portable cord powered device.’

That sounds swanky but it’s mainly my made-up way of saying that this toy is corded but it designed to be corded on the go.

The BMS Factory PalmPower Plug & Play Massager Corded Rechargeable Wand Vibrator will always need some form of power source. A toy this potent required juice 24/7 (or, at least, for as long as you’re using it.

If, however, you’re an on-the-go kind of person then PalmPower have done yourself (and all of us) the great courtesy of adding in a little extra with this product. Namely, a portable charger which is device compatible.

This means that even when you’re away from a plug to charge this toy’s USB in to you can simply whack it in to its snazzy hot pink charger and still enjoy everything this product has to offer – and what it has to offer is quite a lot in terms of power.

PalmPower themselves describe it as ‘Plug n Play,’ which is probably a better description than mine, but I digress.

What has always impressed me about the PalmPower wands is that they are so exquisitely tiny and yet still manage to deliver exceptional orgasmic potential.

The BMS Factory PalmPower Plug & Play Massager Corded Rechargeable Wand Vibrator comes in at 7.3 inches in total length, with a nicely rounded 1.6 inch diameter head, and a shaft that slenders out to a very slim physique.

The head is made from silicone. It’s silky smooth, matte to the touch and doesn’t grab any of my very fluffy cat’s very sheddable hair (a clear plus to my mind). The head can be removed for washing which is good considering, as you might have guessed, this toy is not waterproof nor submersible.

The rest of the toy is made from a reliable ABS plastic which is also matte and also very nice to the touch. This makes the entire toy non-porous, phthalate-free, and completely body safe. If you’ve ever found yourself lamenting over a rash caused by a skanky jelly, rubber, or ‘real skin’ product then it’s time to switch to toys made out of material like this for your own safety and wellbeing.

The BMS Factory PalmPower Plug & Play Massager Corded Rechargeable Wand Vibrator is controlled with a single button, which is used to turn the toy on and off with a press or can ramp up the intensity by pressing and holding it. This does take a little bit of getting used to first time round and you might find yourself accidentally turning this toy off more than once (I sometimes still do). Stick with it, learn how the toy works, you won’t regret it.

This toy’s slimmer design means that it is much more compatible with couples play. Its slim little head snuggles happily wherever you choose to apply it and is an utter treat when nuzzled in between my own labia. It’s also compatible with external perineal massages and can be applied to pretty much any external area you want though, personally, I’ve always gone straight for gold with this toy.

The sheer potency of the BMS Factory PalmPower Plug & Play Massager Corded Rechargeable Wand Vibrator is what makes it so exceptional for a toy of this size. Powered by BMS Factory’s patented PowerBullet technology, the BMS Factory PalmPower Plug & Play Massager Corded Rechargeable Wand Vibrator doesn’t miss a trick in delivering as much oomph as you could realistically want from it.

Despite this, it’s not afraid to start out slow, and the gentler intensities happily shudder and rumble their way against the body as if priming you with an alluring purr.

Rumble really is the name of the game with the BMS Factory PalmPower Plug & Play Massager Corded Rechargeable Wand Vibrator and although this toy never quite judders like a jackhammer it still manages to be the perfect end of rumbly to hit all of the sweet spots.

This toy on full intensity is an amazing offering of everything right with powerful wands.

The intensity, depth, and sheer strength of the BMS Factory PalmPower Plug & Play Massager Corded Rechargeable Wand Vibrator is enough to leave me gasping with thoughtless indulgence every time I use it. Orgasms with this toy are strong and can be seemingly endless if you keep the toy applied. I have, at times, kept an orgasm prolonged with this toy for lengths that even I consider a bit gratuitous and I review sex toys for a living.

Because the head is removeable you can also take it off and switch in one of PalmPower’s other head attachments to vary out your play. These don’t come with the toy but are, instead, a nice added extra that you can get for this Plug n Play device.

This also means that, should you choose, a single BMS Factory PalmPower Plug & Play Massager Corded Rechargeable Wand Vibrator with a few good attachments could potentially meet all of your base sexual needs when travelling. Better yet, because it needs a power source to activate you never have to worry about accidentally pushing the button and having this little wand rumble up a storm in the middle of a coach journey or air flight.

It’s the little things that really make a difference.

And little things are the only real downsides I can put against the BMS Factory PalmPower Plug & Play Massager Corded Rechargeable Wand Vibrator.

The first little thing being that it has no patterns – a downside for some – and the other being that its detachable head does have a somewhat pronounced edge which might feel uncomfortable for some, depending on how you position it.

Those who really love using toys in baths or showers might also feel slighted by this toy, and those who hate cords will obviously find this toy’s cord to be obnoxious (especially as it offers a fair bit of length).

None of these detract from the BMS Factory PalmPower Plug & Play Massager Corded Rechargeable Wand Vibrator for me, however, and I swoon whenever I see it on my bedside drawer.

It’s beckoned me to many an early night or, on occasions, a mid-day break from the daily grind.

Not a bad thing to procrastinate with, I think you’ll agree.

Final Thoughts

Overall I am left forever smitten with the PalmPower range and feel like the BMS Factory PalmPower Plug & Play Massager Corded Rechargeable Wand VibratorBMS Factory PalmPower Plug & Play Massager Corded Rechargeable Wand Vibrator is a nice addition to what we already have.

The price range for it is fair, given its power and functionality, and the ability to purchase add ons feels less like an annoying game-based DLC type thing and more like an invitation to explore should you wish.

This is a toy I think any wand lover out there should own and I know my sex life is happier for having the BMS Factory PalmPower Plug & Play Massager Corded Rechargeable Wand Vibrator in it.

Recommend to:

• Power queens.
• Mid-sized wand lovers.
• Portable toy addicts.

Do Not Recommend to:

• People who dislike the head.
• People who dislike single button controls.
• People who dislike rumbly vibrations.

It’s time to talk about the cheekiest looking sex toy I own.

Despite my many years as reviewer nothing quite prepared me for the cheeky grin that met me when I unveiled the Emojibator SHARK Waterproof Silicone Dual Stimulation Inflating Vibrator.

This toys smile is so wide and deliberately grinning that it’s almost ballsy. It’s as if this toy is openly confident that it is going to deliver pleasure to whatever recipient it encounters and, I’ll be honest, it’s really hard not to anthropomorphize this toy as a result. It just beckons a certain degree of character and flare.

But the bravado of a sex toy doesn’t necessarily mean that it is going to perform well, so how does the Emojibator SHARK Waterproof Silicone Dual Stimulation Inflating Vibrator manage to hold up against its confident demeanour?

Let’s find out together.

Emojibator The SHARK Waterproof Silicone Dual Stimulation Inflating Vibrator

The Emojibator SHARK Waterproof Silicone Dual Stimulation Inflating Vibrator has some reason to be confident, at least in terms of design and innovation.

I can confidently say that there is not other toy on the market shaped just like it. Sure, there are shark-based sex toys, but a sex toy made to look like the toothiest shark known to one’s genitalia is pretty much unprecedented and, for that, I have to commend Emojibator for its continued playful attempt to the products we choose to get our rocks off with.

Another interesting approach that the Emojibator SHARK Waterproof Silicone Dual Stimulation Inflating Vibrator takes to pleasure is, as its name suggests, an additional inflating feature to complement its vibrations, which isn’t all that common on the sex toy market.

To put it simply when it comes to stimulation the Emojibator SHARK Waterproof Silicone Dual Stimulation Inflating Vibrator feels more like a whale vibrator trapped in a shark vibrator’s body. As play goes on its body swells up before all of a sudden it forcefully seizes down its external silicone layer, as if puffing out air from a blowhole like a mighty humpback whale.

Can’t really fault a toy taking inspiration from an animal that has ‘hump’ in its name. At least in theory.

Before we get further in to how this toy performs, however, let’s go over a few specifications.

The Emojibator SHARK Waterproof Silicone Dual Stimulation Inflating Vibrator is a reasonably sized dual stimulator, though its bulky shark body does make it seem heftier than it actually is.

Its total length is 8.25 inches but the insertible section is about 4.5 inches. At its slimmest it comes in with a diameter of about 1.25 inches, allowing for a nice taper in to its size. Ride this apex predator out to its maximum, swelling girth, however, and you’ll get to a diameter of roughly 2 inches total.

This is on the larger end of what people take before suddenly transitioning to beginners ‘Size Queen’ territory, but the Emojibator SHARK Waterproof Silicone Dual Stimulation Inflating Vibrator starts of at a slime enough shaft so as to be accessible to most individuals.

This toy is USB rechargeable and is waterproof for shower play but not fully submersible. Kind of ironic, considering we’re talking about a shark here, but that’s neither here nor there.

The silicone coating this toy is semi-matte. Not at all glossy but hardly ‘pamper me’ smooth. It sort of fits in with the sleek and almost cartoonish aesthetic of this toy in how it feels which is a really nice aspect of the toy. It also means that this toy is phthalate-free, non-porous, and completely body safe. Gotta love the fact that safe toys are much more of an industry standard nowadays.

There are 8 different vibration settings to this toy and 3 different inflatable modes all controlled through the buttons on the dorsal section of the shark. The controls at first…they’re a bit finnicky to get used to but once you know what you’re doing it’s easy to get your sharky on board with how you want it to perform.

The inflatable pulses of this toy are absolutely surreal. I meant it when I said they remind me of a whale or dolphin shooting out its aqua load. During use it feels like something is literally breathing in my vagina and I’m not too sure how to reconcile that. On the one hand it does sort of mimic the pulsating sensations one might get when a firm shaft is inserted and a human breathes deeply in and out, squirming as they go, but the reliable rhythm of it all and the extent of the swelling and expelling of air is incredibly surreal.

As it stands my body sees it as more of a distraction than anything else – an enjoyable one but one that I do ultimately turn off mid use.

I’m the type of gal who relies heavily on fantasy and exploring what’s going on with my head and body when fucking and having an inflating and deflating shark in my cunt isn’t necessarily the best way to achieve a total mind/body connection.

God I love that my job lets me write lines like that.

Vibration-wise the Emojibator SHARK Waterproof Silicone Dual Stimulation Inflating Vibrator is a mid-strength toy. It has a reasonable depth to it and it’s certainly not buzzy but neither is it it strong nor defined enough in its own style to be considered rumbly. It’s a pleasant and fun offering but not one that will blow your socks off.

I can orgasm with this toy but it would never be my go-to for achieving orgasm. I’d much rather pull it out, be like “Oh my gahrdh, look’it this shark vibe!” and then pop it away and reach for something that is more conducive to my personal preferences when having a play session.

As with many rabbit-style toys the clitoral prong of this toy is also weaker than its internal shaft, which is a bummer but I’ve come to pretty much expect this nowadays.

This toy would really suit someone who likes those mid-level vibes, loves novelty, and wants to explore inflating toes, but isn’t looking for a master of any one field…except maybe novelty. I still adore how this toy looks.

The look of this toy, however, comes with its only real objective downside.

This shark has a large and heavy base which will be hard for some people to hold and to really get a good leverage on, especially if mobility or motor skills come in to play.

The size of this toy means it’s also not really made for couples sessions, unless one holds the shark and the other enjoys the shark…Again, I’m left to marvel at the sentences that my job allows me to produce.

Outside of this, however, there really aren’t many gripes that I can bring to the table with this quirky offering. The Emojibator The SHARK Waterproof Silicone Dual Stimulation Inflating Vibrator knows exactly what it is and every element of it that is intended to function performs really well at its job.

You could say that this toy is jawsome at meeting its criteria.

…

I’ll see myself out.

Final Thoughts

While I love the aesthetic and approach of this toy I can’t say that I’m really enamoured with it, nor that I found any pleasure in it that I couldn’t get from another toy and with greater effect.

Visuals matter, of course they do, but visuals alone won’t have me splashing about happily in a deep sea of orgasmic bliss, and the Emojibator SHARK Waterproof Silicone Dual Stimulation Inflating Vibrator misses the mark in having me plunge in to deep waters.

I can recommend the Emojibator SHARK Waterproof Silicone Dual Stimulation Inflating Vibrator but only under the specifications outlined in my review; mid-level, experimental individuals.

As it stands I’d probably be underwhelmed if I got this at retail price and would likely only keep it for the sheer appreciation of the cute grin that it offers up each time I see it.

Sorry sharkey buddy, you flopped instead of flipping.

Recommend to:

• People who like rabbit vibes.
• People who like mid strength vibrations.
• People wanting to experiment with inflation.

Do Not Recommend to:

• Power/rumble lovers.
• People who dislike bottom-heavy toys.
• People who dislike the design.

I’ll admit that the clit is the primary sex organ that rules my self lovin’ style.

Even with insertibles toys I’ll usually give them a clit test before anything else.

Usually I’m also too lazy to shove anything inside of myself (outside of testing, of course) and end up just grabbing for a toy and having a clit-on-the-go experience.

It’s not that I don’t love a throbbing, texture-laden hulk of silicone massaging my insides. It’s just that I know I can have gratifying climaxes with my clit alone and so I tend to stick to my old faithful way of having an orgasm when it comes to it.

In doing this I almost did the Blush Aria Magnify Rechargeable Silicone G-Spot Vibrator a grave disservice. Almost.

Thankfully, I am a professional and so all avenues are explored when it comes to the toys that come my way.

This is what saved the Blush Aria Magnify Rechargeable Silicone G-Spot Vibrator in my eyes because, when it comes to my clit this toy becomes a Little Britain sketch and just keeps on saying “No,” but when meeting with my insides it has me singing like a Valhallan opera maiden.

The Blush Aria Magnify Rechargeable Silicone G-Spot Vibrator

The Blush Aria Magnify Rechargeable Silicone G-Spot Vibrator is a product provided by the (almost) ever-reliable Blush.

There have been very few toys that I have had from Blush which haven’t delivered 100% in some regard. Typically the flops are their tiniest vibes. But, hey, you can’t ask for perfection, not even from an exceptional brand such as Blush.

The Blush Aria Magnify Rechargeable Silicone G-Spot Vibrator is no exception to the rule of excellence that comes from Blush.

This toy is designed aa a comfortable G-spotting vibrator which is aimed at optimising user experience while still not being so harsh, rigid, nor balls-to-the-wall crazy that it’s only accessible by a brave few.

In order to do this Blush have made a few very good moves.

The first of these moves is to do with measurements.

Coming in at 7 inches of total length, 5 inches of insertible length and with a maximum diameter of 1.5 inches the Blush Aria Magnify Rechargeable Silicone G-Spot Vibrator hits that sweet spot of the ‘everyman’ measurements that tend to meet average user needs. Go much chunkier than 1.5 inches in diameter and things become a bit more of a warm up act. Go to 1.9-2 inches and you’re getting in to entry level Size Queen turf which, yes, feels ah-MA-zing on the G-spot but is definitely something to work up to rather than something to start off with.

The Blush Aria Magnify Rechargeable Silicone G-Spot Vibrator also has a fair amount of flexibility in its neck, specifically around the mid point. Not so much as to make pressing and wiggling it against the G-spot a battle but enough that you never feel like you’re fighting an infirm invader in your innards when using it.

Luscious, smooth silicone lines the Blush Aria Magnify Rechargeable Silicone G-Spot Vibrator and makes a surface-level texture that isn’t necessarily matte but fails to be glossy either. It’s just perfect to stroke against the skin and responds incredibly well to lubricant.

You can put a small smattering of water based lube on this puppy and still have it slide nicely in to place with just the right amount of drag to make you feel like you’re riding a substantial piece of kit.

At £46 it’s certainly not unsubstantial in terms of pricing but neither does it break the bank either. I’ve had cinema trips and jackets that have cost less than this vibrator and have been a much more fleeting presence in my life (and, depending on the movie, much shitter). Add to the fact that Blush covers their toys under a warranty and you’ve got a piece of affordable kit that will serve you well for quite a while.

The Blush Aria Magnify Rechargeable Silicone G-Spot Vibrator has many of the other benefits that you would expect from a quality sex toy in this day and age. It is USB rechargeable, waterproof, and comes in a cardboard box which looks aesthetically presentable for gift giving.

7 different vibration functions are at play with the Blush Aria Magnify Rechargeable Silicone G-Spot Vibrator, a fair few of which are different degrees of intensity (3) and the rest of which are patterns (5). Two buttons control this toy – one to turn it on and off (and reset the settings to the baseline low intensity) and one to cycle through the patterns.

I am not, by nature, a pattern lover but I’ll admit that I had a few moments of fuzzy bliss enjoying some of the pulsating and progressive patterns that this toy comes with. I would never use them to ride my way to a finishing climax but I did like having them on for the first timid awakenings of my vagina while I purred my clit in to happy submission with a PalmPower.

And that’s how I recommend using this toy – internally as intended – because externally it did nothing for me.

The first intensity setting has a nice rumble and is semi-deep with a decent amount of strength. Take it up one more notch, however, and suddenly this toy goes more humming/buzzy, much more intense and I just had to pull it away from my clit in shock. The transition feels very sudden externally, even more so when going up to the final intensity which is smooth, buzzing, and deep (not always the best of combos).

Apply it internally, however, and the vibrations come in to their own. Their intensity and type is the kind of vibration that is best partnered with an internal chamber, ready to hug, clench, and snuggle out the finer details of its smoother depth and really savour its strength. The buzz fades in to rapid resonance internally and more than once I have been brought to rapid, long-lasting orgasms as I gasped at the sheer contrast that came from using this toy as it was designed.

Shock of shock – sometimes recommended use really is the best way to use a toy, despite what my clit will often greedily try to tell me.

The bulging and curvaceous angling of this toy’s shaft is just perfect for nuzzling in to place on the G-spot. Its narrow mid-point makes it feel like your vagina envelops this toy as it goes in and puts it firmly in to place for optimal stimulation.

If you’re unsure whether G-spot stimulation is for you or have yet to find your G-spot then this toy is a nice way to experiment with seeing where internal climaxes can get you. Pair it with a good clit vibe and I tend to find that it will naturally facilitate the rest.

Downsides to this toy are hard to come up with objectively, although the vibration type will certainly put some people off. Smooth and consistent strength isn’t everyone’s cup of tea and even I prefer a good rumble as a default.

The fact that it doesn’t really double well as a clitoral vibe can also be seen as a bit of a shame.

As I said before – I use so many of my other ‘internal’ toys for external pleasure and most of them serve me very well in this regard, but the Blush Aria Magnify Rechargeable Silicone G-Spot Vibrator just doesn’t have this capacity. It’s a ‘stick to what is recommended’ type of vibe.

I really can’t fault this toy too hard on not doing something it wasn’t designed to do, however, especially when it is really good at what it’s meant to do, so take this as more of a personal gripe rather than something this toy has failed to deliver.

I guess my clit will just have to pout over this one.

Final Thoughts

Overall I find myself impressed by just how effective the Blush Aria Magnify Rechargeable Silicone G-Spot Vibrator is at its intended purpose, if not a bit disheartened that I can’t optimize it for other forms of play.

The Blush Aria Magnify Rechargeable Silicone G-Spot Vibrator is a toy that is true to itself and would make a really good entry-level G-spotting vibrator for those who are curious about G-spot play, those who already love it, or those who are thoroughly uncertain about it.

I can certainly recommend it and think it would be a good option for lovers of insertible vibrators. Just don’t expect it to work wonders outside of its remit. Every toy has its strengths and weaknesses.

Recommend to:

• G-spot curious individuals.
• Lovers of strong internal toys.
• Lovers of smooth vibrations.

Do Not Recommend to:

• People looking for a diverse toy.
• People who like stiff shafts.
• People who dislike buzzy vibrations.

Cocks are a wonderful thing. They can be sucked, stroked, rode, taken, and even augmented with the addition of fun and varied sex toys.

And, I must admit, I’m always a fan of a person who is receptive to playing around with options when it comes to their body.

Vibrations are just one way to enhance a sex session involving someone with a shaft. A well-designed cock ring can transform sensations for both the user and the recipient of any sexual action.

Blowjobs, for example, are always interesting when the giver’s lips are tingling and the receiver’s whole appendage is tingling with increased intensity.

Handjobs can feel so much more intense when a cock ring swells the penis more and heightens blood flow – thus increasing duration, strength, and the potency of the climax.

And when a cock ring is attached then all the benefits of vibration can be felt by both users, alongside stamina increased.

This is especially great for those who struggle with erectile dysfunction, but it can be transformative for any user and is why I value cock rings when they’re done right.

But doing them right is the important element.

Lelo have a fair few cock ring offerings. I’m a fan of the Tor 2 and the Pino (which nuzzles and hugs up against the vulva during use while delivering great vibrations for all involved) but what about the Oden 2?

As of now I’ve avoided it, and I’ll explain why in a while, but was I being unreasonable by steering clear from this phallus-enhancing offering?

Let’s find out.

The Lelo Oden 2

The Lelo Oden 2 is a cock ring with a twist…literally.

Its coiling cock ring area is a flexible silicone ring which twists in a curl to wrap around the shaft of the user and provide stimulation.

Two different rings are made available for users: One of which is sealed up at the end – making a complete ring – whereas the other stays open ended, to accommodate larger shafts or those who don’t like too much pressure.

This provides a nice amount of variety and consideration from Lelo which I appreciate.

It’s also unique to the Lelo cock ring range. Both the Tor 2 and the Pino have a single, complete ring, meaning that if you do value the ability to have a looser or more expansive fit then the Oden 2 is going to be of consideration for you.

The two different rings are attached by simply unscrewing them from the vibrating section of the toy and attaching the one you would like. At the same time, unscrewing the ring will also reveal the charge point for your toy, which is charged via a Lelo plug-in cable which is included with the toy.

The Oden 2 has other benefits that you’d expect from a luxury toy too. It comes with a storage bag, a warrantee, a guarantee, and is waterproof (but not submersible).

The Oden 2 also features Lelo’s SenseMotion technology – meaning you can use the remote given to simply tilt and sway it from direction to direction in order to control the vibrations or opt to use the + and – buttons given for a more conventional experience.

This is something that is particularly valuable when it comes to cock rings. Not only does it allow for power to be given over to one’s partner (if it is wished) but is also means you don’t have to try and fiddle about pressing just above the cock to switch through different features and functions.

The controller does need batteries, and these aren’t included, but it’s well worth the 2 x AA investment to have this sense of freedom.

In terms of patterns and intensity the Oden 2 has 6 different patterns and gradually increasing vibrations which can only be accessed through the remote (boo). The patterns can be accessed via the single button on the vibrator itself but I’m a fan of having full access from the toy, so this was a bit of a bummer for me.

The vibrations themselves are the smooth quivering rumble that is typical of many Lelo toys. It transfers well and feels nice both on a shaft and on the clitoris but isn’t the most powerful vibrator on the market. I actually consider this an advantage when it comes to cock rings, as they’re meant to be complimentary rather than overwhelming, and too much vibration can distract users from the other sensations at play.

I could, if I wished, climax from the vibrations alone but it wouldn’t be my preference. I much prefer using this toy as intended – a delicious addition to the sensation of a shaft sliding in and out of my body while I lovingly clasp the skin of the person sharing in the moment with me.

At least I would, if not for the fact that its twisting design is about at consistent in placement as someone trying tight roping for the first time.

I avoided the Lelo Oden 2 up until this point because I was worried that the larger size and the side-ways design of the vibrator would lead this toy to slide around too much during sex, and I was correct in that estimation. The vibrator for the Oden 2 does not like to stay in place. It will edge around the shaft, especially during rapid movements, until it’s either making no contact at all or the contact is so distracting that you have to stop and realign it during use. Then it slips again and you’re left repeating. It’s a bothersome experience.

In the Lelo Oden 2’s favour it is made of body-safe, phthalate-free silicone which feels lovely against the skin, but it’s only lovely for as long as it stays in place, which isn’t for long.

The plug-based charger for the Oden 2 is also a downside. Nowadays we’re so used to using USB connections that having a designated plug seems a bit outdated. It’s easier to lose and if you do lose it then you’re fucked…or not, as the case may be.

If you are really determined to use the Oden 2 and take it gently then you might be able to get an enjoyable ride out of if – and the same goes for blowjobs and handjobs where it’s purely a vibrational augmentation – but then you’re limited by your toy rather than liberated by it, and that should never be the case.

It’s a shame, really, because the Oden 2’s vibrations and premise are nice, but the size and positioning of the vibrating section really do let it down.

Final Thoughts

The Lelo Oden 2 is what I would call and ‘ergonomically challenged’ toy and this stops its many benefits from coming in to full effect during use.

If you’re vying for a Lelo cock ring and want similar sensations then the Lelo Tor 2 is a much better option by far in my mind. The vibrating section is smoother, it stays in place, and the ring is flexible enough to accommodate most users.

Alas, the Oden 2 is just a fading old relic by comparison. It’s like Thor Ragnarok all over again and I think it’s fair to say I know why Lelo no longer stock this toy on their site.

It’s a choice for the best.

Recommend to:

• People who like cock rings for non penetrative actions.
• People who want an open ring.
• People who don’t mind readjusting.

Do Not Recommend to:

• People who want a ring that stays in place.
• People who want a slimmer vibrating section.
• People who dislike the control system.

It’s been a long time since you all saw my breasts so I thought I’d change that.

I mean, why not, when it only costs £8 to get access to sequin bedazzled, heart-shaped nipple pasties ready set to attach atop my nipples and act as an adornment to my peaking breasts?

Ann Summers are an eclectic company. Some of the stuff they retail or make I am just totally against. I’ll never understand why they feel the need to put urea in their lube but that’s a whole other topic. The point is that will the good ol’ AS you never quite know what you’re going to get until you experience it first hand.

So, when I had a chance to try these nipple covers out I was sceptical but hopeful.

I mean, you can’t really do much wrong with nipple covers. As long as they look good, stick well, and remove well then you’re on to a winner.

But do these covers meet these key criteria?

It’s review time.

Ann Summers Basic Nipple Covers (Black Heart Shaped Nipple Covers)

The Ann Summers Basic Nipple Covers (displaying on their site as the Black Heart Shaped Nipple Covers) are exactly what you’d expect from the title.

These nipple covers come in a cardboard box with a plastic cover that shows the nipple pasties off. I get the practicality of this but, considering how much plastic we use, I’d prefer if the box were all cardboard. Most people know what they’re getting with nipple covers, after all, though I do appreciate that areola circumference will be a consideration for some users.

Undo the bottom of the box and you’re presented with the nipple covers in all their shining glory.

The covers themselves do fit the ‘basic’ bill, but ‘basic’ doesn’t mean ‘mediocre.’ There’s something simplistically cute and richly alluring about sequin hearts that are a deep black. They catch the light very well and shine in a manner that isn’t obtrusive but still catches the eye.

I’m not sure if these covers would feel as elegant as they do if they were silver, gold, or red so Ann Summers made the right choice in their selection of black in terms of keeping things subtly seductive.

The pasties themselves feel like a 1 use item, though you can get multiple uses out of them if you’re a careful and diligent user. Ann Summers certainly suggest they can be “applied and re-applied” so their shelf life is entirely up to you.

The advice is to not wear them for any more than 6 hours at a time, meaning you could pop these pasties on your puppies, slip a bra on, and be ready to go out for a date, to a sex party, or a kink event without issue and then simply reveal your surprise when you’re ready to.

I personally find that they are comfortable for long-term use so there really isn’t an issue in terms of duration and wear.

The pasties themselves come with paper on the back that you simply peel away and to allow for the adhesive section to be revealed.

The adhesive in nicely sticky but not a total faff to get on. I have sensitive skin and one of my big concerns whenever using nipple covers like these is that I’ll experience irritation but I was happily surprised that no irritation occurred throughout use. Huzzah to Ann Summers.

I do always wonder about the ethical aspect of the glues used, however, but Ann Summers doesn’t really supply much information on this, so god knows if these nipple covers are vegan.

…That’s a weird sentence to type.

The pasties attach well and were just about enough to cover my areola, though people with a large circumference might struggle.

As for the adhesive quality…depending on the shape and size of your breast you might have some logistics to consider.

My breasts are on the smaller size and have suffered from ‘the flop’ what with my weight loss over the years, this meant that there was sometimes a little bit of difficulty getting the whole of the covers to stay stuck on at times, but readjustment was simple. Imagine my hands squishing my breasts down and you’ve got a good idea of my incredibly technical readjustment method.

Keeping the covers on was relatively easy. Removing them was akin to trying to take off a plaster. Pain with sensitivity are an interesting mix.

Still, this would be a wonderful little addition to these covers for anyone who likes nipple play or pain play. Removing the covers themselves could become part of any play session, making it a clear bonus in my mind.

If you’re not a pain fan…well, take the ‘high heel’ approach and remind yourself that sometimes a little pain is necessary for looking fabulous. Or, if you’re not a fan of that philosophy then you might want to give these covers a miss and opt for something more gentle and in line with your play preferences.

Appearance-wise I really can’t fault these covers. They look cute. I feel cute when wearing them but with just a little bit of deviousness hidden underneath the surface. That’s likely the black colouration at play. Black attire always makes me feel like a confident kitten who could pounce with sharpened claws at any moment. It’s always nice when my sexual garments complement such a feeling and I hope you’d agree.

Downsides for these? It’s really hard to say.

If you lose the paper covering then storage would likely be an issue, and not knowing how many uses you get might irk some people. Having said that, you can pay £8 for a cup of coffee for 2 at some places nowadays so the idea of having sexual encounters with these nipple covers multiple times for the same price doesn’t seem unfair.

The pain factor of removing them is likely the only clear concern when it comes to downsides. Not everyone likes pain and that’s valid.

For me, however, I was undeterred by the sting on these covers, even if it did cause me to wince a bit after every removal.

Final Thoughts

Overall I can happily recommend the Black Heart Shaped Nipple Covers, which do their job and do it well.

Nipple covers come in all different shapes and sizes. Some have dinosaurs on them, some whole tropical islands (complete with mermaids) but, at times, it’s nice to return to a more basic formula and simply find value in the cheap and cheerful offerings out there.

Well done, Ann Summers, I’m impressed.

Recommend to:

• People who like nipple covers.
• Fans of black attire.
• People who like pain play.

Do Not Recommend to: 

• People who dislike pain.
• People looking for more striking designs.
• People who prefer other colours.

Let’s get this out of the way – there’s no need for ‘feminine wash.’

I was going to say ‘there’s no such thing as feminine wash’ but I cannot deny the existence of the feminine wash that is currently propped on my desk, and therefore I must defer to simply saying there’s not a need for it.

Your vulva does not require a specific wash in order to be feminine, for you to feel feminine, or to exist as a marker of femininity.

Vulvas are, however, more on the sensitive side sometimes (god knows mine is) and so there is sometimes a need for products which are less abrasive and chemically charged than your conventional body wash or shower gel.

Bath bombs, for example, are terrible for those prone to UTIs or vaginal/vulva irritation and after a bout you’re actually discouraged from using anything like that in your bathing routine to avoid a recurring incident.

The more you know.

The Orethic Feminine Wash

This is where products such as the Orethic Feminine Wash really do come in to your own. Plus, I get it – it’s much easier to market a product if it’s labelled ‘feminine wash’ then if it were called ‘vulva-sensitive wash’ or similar. Sure, it’d be more apt, but it’d also likely be harder to get through any search analytics and likely put people off.

‘Feminine wash’ is basically a euphemism, much like how wand massagers are ‘massagers’ and sex toys are ‘novelty items.’ We all look at them and simply go ‘Suuuuuure they are’ while all knowing that what we’re really going to do is shove them on to our junk and ride them until our brain tingles and our body spasms with joy. But I digress.

What makes the Orethic Feminine Wash particularly good for giving your vuvla (or any genitals, really) a good rinse is that it is completely lacking in most of the nasties that cause a lot of people issues.

There are two ingredients in the Orethic Feminine Wash:

Prunus Amygdalus Dulcus Oil: Basically sweet almond oil. A natural emulsifier often used in cosmetic washes to nourish the skin and add a sheen to any hair that might be involved.

Tocopherol: A form of vitamin E which is easily absorbed by the human body. Vitamin E being a powerful antioxidant and great for repairing damaged skin.

Of these two ingredients 70% is organic, which is even better for anyone who is bio-conscious and wants a product in line with their values.

The emphasis on a very simple ingredient list and two rather non-reactive and easily absorbed components makes the Orethic Feminine Wash great for anyone with allergies or those that struggle with conventional washes. I personally have very sensitive skin and found that this wash was no issue whatsoever for me.

The Orethic Feminine Wash has a slight aroma which is best described as ‘herbal’ and reminds me of attending crystal healing conferences or similar ‘hippy’ affairs – the kind of thing where you leave feeling a little more ‘cleansed’ and ‘enlightened’ despite whether or not this is actually the case.

Objectively, however, the science behind both of the ingredients in the Orethic Feminine Wash is sound and means that this product could really help people who struggle with irritation or friction around their vulva too. It would be great, for example, after a rough sex session to wash away any lube while also making sure that you take care of your skin.

It’s also great for anyone who still uses sanitary cloths and gets that unwelcome and downright demoralizing sting from the entire affair and potential chafing or hair-plucking from the pads.

I cannot stress enough that this is not a product that you put inside your vagina. Instead it is purely for external use, to wash and rinse your vulva area rather then getting anywhere near any internal parts.

Use it externally and you’ll find it lathers up well, leaves the vulva feeling nice and refreshed (as refreshed as any part of your body when you’ve just had a shower or bath), and likely does your skin some good.

Use it internally and you’re disrupting the natural flora of your vaginal canal. Your vagina is smart. It can sort itself out. Don’t go messin’ with mother nature.

I really cannot fault the Orethic Feminine Wash for what it is. A little really does go a long way and if you’re struggling with discomfort of the vulva then this product can potentially do a lot to help you.

It’s not ground breaking, and it does have a slight tingle to it that some people might dislike, but it does offer an alternative way to wash your vulva that isn’t reliant on a chemical bath.

Sure, the price tag is a bit more than you’re 79p Superdrugs shower gel, but that’s because it serves a specific purpose and, as such, you’ll likely be using it in smaller amounts and in a much more localized area, so it doesn’t feel excessive in its price tag.

Overall it’s just a really nice option for those who struggle with sensitive skin or simply want to transition to a more simplistic way to take care of themselves and I really can’t say much against such a beautifully succinct premise.

Final Thoughts

The Orethic Feminine Wash is a wash that you might not need but it is one that you might want, especially as it does its job pretty well.

I can personally recommend the Orethic Feminine Wash, though I think it’s something I’d only use if I were struggling with a UTI, feeling tender underneath, or using sanitary pads and paying the downsides of that option.

I think it’s a good product for those who meet any of those criteria, even if I’d never consider it an essential item.

What can I say? Sometimes products do what they say and do it well, and there’s not much more to add then that.

Recommend to:

• People with sensitive skin.
• Sanitary towel users.
• Aftercare cravers.

Do Not Recommend to:

• People who dislike vulva washes.
• People who find the price to steep.
• People who dislike herbal products.

A while back I was doing a firefighter challenge. Basically you did the firefighter entry exam to raise money for charity (in this case getting a defib for my local gym). Granted I’d given myself a slight disadvantage from the get-go by doing 20 miles just before the challenge, but that’s entirely besides the point of this anecdote.

As I sat down waiting for the challenge two of my gym pals were by my side nattering. I didn’t pay much attention to what was being said until one of them (a superstar of a lady) just suddenly said “Are you a lesbian?”

No judgement. Just a blunt and out of nowhere question. Part of the reason why I love this particular woman.

Once I had a moment to realize what I’d been asked I responded “I’m queer” to which they went “Ah, perfect then. So this really is lesbian corner.”

We all blurted out laughing and then got some firefighter gear on and shuffled a stuffed dummy across gravel (among other things).

Moral of the story – queer people are everywhere, whether you know it or not.

But queer sex toys aren’t always as prominent on the market.

Granted, any sex toy can be used by any body (as long as it’s suited to the body, that is) but sometimes it’s nice to have toys that are specifically catered to a specific person, preference, or demographic.

Wet For Her do just that.

Wet For Her specialize in queer gear.

The motto on their page reads “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go fare, go together” and I really appreciate this saying. Their company stems from the realization that, in a male-led market, they were not alone in their willingness and desire to see queer-specific toys gain more momentum and when they realized this they took up their own mantle and began making toys catered more towards lesbian and queer uses.

The Wet For Her Strap On Sex Toy Five is one such toy.

The Wet For Her Strap On Sex Toy Five

Nothing about this toy screams “lesbian” but I kind of really like that about it. One of the most important things to realize about queer individuals is that we are extraordinarily ordinary in many regards. Sometimes we don’t want all bells and whistles and “Oh look, when I push this button, the dildo starts projecting holographic rainbows in to the air and spitting out sparkles.”

Sometimes we just want a good, moderately curved, chunky dildo that works well with a harness.

That’s what the Wet For Her Strap On Sex Toy Five offers.

This sex toy is labelled ‘Five’ because it’s actually one of a series of toys, all with the same design, which simply serve as nice dildos for harnessed use.

Different numbers have different measurements, all of which can be found here.

The Five itself even comes in three different sizes: Small, medium, or large (mine is medium).

As an aside, this also makes these toys great to use as dilators for anyone with Vaginismus or similar sexual dysfunctions.

I personally would have screamed and ran away if I was presented with the Wet For Her Strap On Sex Toy Five from the get-go, but knowing there are other sizes and seeing this in the context of something I could built up to would have felt very reassuring and gratifying.

The Wet For Her Strap On Sex Toy Five is made entirely out of silicone, making in non-porous, phthalate-free, and completely body-safe.

Sure, it’s baby pink, but like I said before you really don’t need to break convention with every single sex toy. I can make my peace with a pink dildo if it does the job, which this dildo does.

Wet For Her made a point of making their dildo non-realistic and this is really important for many queer individuals. Some people don’t want a cock, nor anything that resembles one in any way, but they still like the sensation of penetration and the perks of G-Spot stimulation.

Much like a plant-based burger, the Wet For Her Strap On Sex Toy Five provides these pleasurable experiences without any of the unwanted elements that some people might object to or just not like.

The Wet For Her Strap On Sex Toy Five is a smooth matte dildo which does best with some form of lubrication as it can feel a bit draggy without. Granted, it feels draggy with, but it’s the good kind of drag – the kind that makes you giddy and satisfied as it sweeps its way across the full length of your internal wall, letting you feel its girth, shape, and curve.

The curve of the Wet For Her Strap On Sex Toy Five is subtle but effective. It’s the type that works really well with strap on use, which is exactly what it was designed for. I’ve never had an issue with this toy coming out of an O-ring or even slipping annoyingly out of place, which is perfect for an uninterrupted ramming session or even some nice, gentle thrusts or jiggles.

The Wet For Her Strap On Sex Toy Five also feels very nice when used alone and can work as a great primer for size queen play, acting as an intermediary before going up to even larger sizes. This is one of the things I really appreciate about the Wet For Her Strap On Sex Toy Five, as I’m not one to take size naturally, so this toy really does help to open up my vaginal walls a bit more and help me relax into any chunky silicone I ease in to myself afterwards.

I’d say if you were not one for larger sizes then you’d probably want to go down a peg from the Five, but the toys itself is near faultless. It feels lovely in long thrusts, offers a gentle nudging of the G-Spot and is great to spasm against at the point of climax.

It’s not even that heavy for what is, to be realistic, quite a large piece of silicone, and I’m left in awe at how nearly feather-light it feels.

This is another important thing if you value harness use, because there’s nothing worst than feeling like the junk in your trunk is weighing you down and working against you with each thrust.

Instead what the Wet For Her Strap On Sex Toy Five provides is effortless play in a potentially queer way and I am so down to clown with this simple but effective dildo.

Final Thoughts

The Wet For Her Strap On Sex Toy Five is not going to wow the market, but it might bring some pretty big “Wow’s” in to the bedroom and that’s ultimately what it’s made for.

If you’re in to a really prominent curve, prefer smaller toys, or just don’t like the pink then, sure, this toy is likely not quite right for you, but in all other situations the Wet For Her Strap On Sex Toy Five delivers exactly what you’d expect from a toy of its appearance.

Remember what I said too – no one need be restricted by a toy’s specifications. This toy has a flared base and is just as good for anal, for use with hetero couples, for use solo, or even as a lovely dildo display in an adult cabinet.

I am personally pleased with the Wet For Her Strap On Sex Toy Five and I can recommend it to anyone looking for a toy like this.

Recommend to:

• Strap on lovers.
• Those dilating at larger sizes.
• Those who like non-representational toys.

Do Not Recommend to:

• People who prefer representational toys.
• People who like a bigger curve.
• People wanting smaller toys.