Okay, I think I know why this particular company made one of their bullets larger than average now:
It’s because when they stick to more standard sizes they produce products that can be rivalled by a particularly java-filled bumble bee.
The Maia Roxie Crystal Gem Lipstick Vibrator
As if sensation weren’t enough of a hindrance to a product’s performance, the Maia Roxie Crystal Gem Lipstick Vibrator also has the terrible displeasure of being absolutely hideous.
Again, subjective, but who thought that a sex toy could be updated by being given a control section and cover that would likely make even Lady Gaga recoil in disapproval?
Okay, ranting over for a moment.
The Maia Roxie Crystal Gem Lipstick Vibrator is a small bullet vibrator intended for mostly clitoral use and retailing at $30.00.
This toy has an overall length of 4 inches and an insertible length of 2.5 inches. It overall width is 1 inches but that’s accounting for its chunky outer configuration. In reality it comes in slightly slimmer and very accommodating for people who like a smaller sized bullet.
This toy may be like a bullet but its overall design is more lipstick like, which plays in with the *ahem* ‘aesthetics* of this toy. Namely that it has an outer casing and so might look similar to a lipstick concealed underneath its cover.
This also gives this bullet bonus points in terms of being discreet and unnoticeable when fully covered.
In an odd choice, this bullet has both a plastic case built in to its design and a little black satin bag that you can store it in long term.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m always happy when a toy gives a storage method – it’s just I was pretty sure that the toy’s plastic case was the storage method, so why the additional baggy?
Oh well, chalk it up to a win for those who like black storage bags and leave it at that.
In addition to the black storage bag, this toy also has a 1 year warranty, is submersible, and has 10 different functions. It’s USB rechargeable and a single charge will give you up to 2 hours of battery life.
The 10 different functions of this toy can be controlled with a single button shape like a…well…’diamond’ at the base of this toy. Pressing and holding it for approximately 3 seconds will allow the toy to either turn on or off where its multiple buttons will filter through the different settings of this toy.
The toy itself is made from ABS plastic and is coated with a silicone layer. This silicone is non-porous, phthalate-free, and completely body-safe. This toy has a sleek matte configuration with two slight wavy indentations on the shaft. I cant; say that these do anything for the quality of the toy’s performance, but they do add a nice touch to the toy visually (and this time I actually mean it).
The toy is luminous pink externally and has a geometric metallic pink control section and plastic case. A single control button is less than ideal for 10 different functions but is at least a little more merciful than 20+ different vibrations, so there’s a little win to be had there.
What I will say about the geometric base is that it does make the toy easier to hold on to during use. Add to the fact that the lipstick element of this toy means you can place it more flatly on the clit or go for a pinpoint approach and there are quite a few components of success hidden within this toy’s design.
If only its vibrations were good.
Perhaps I’m being a bit harsh on this bullet but that’s probably because I’ve felt what this company can do with a little more size and a slightly better motor and voila! It’s a success story.
Alas, this toy’s motor gives it vibrations which are shuddering but shallow. Quivering but to the point of faltering. In short, they come up short.
Even on this toy’s highest setting it failed to even register in terms of getting my clit throbbing. Meanwhile the only clenching that came from my vaginal muscles was a deep sighing clench of disapproval followed by what almost felt like a frowning closing at what I had chosen to use as my toy for the evening.
Thankfully I have many other toys close, so my genitals were giddy after a momentary switch, but every time with the Maia Roxie Crystal Gem Lipstick Vibrator was exactly the same.
In fact, as I write this review I have the Maia Roxie Crystal Gem Lipstick Vibrator in my bra and, to be honest with you, I barely feel a thing. Sure, I can hear it, and I can feel that it’s on my skin, but the sensation registers with such little substance that a particularly strong itching feeling in my right hand shoulder is currently warranting more of my mind’s attention.
Final Thoughts
That’s a pretty damning review…I’m not going to lie…But I can’t really put many positives to a toy of this kind.
I suppose the biggest positive is that I know the company is capable of making better toys, and that they don’t cost much more, so if you are won over by the design choices of this company (and power to you if you are, because don’t let me step down your style).
If you do like really, really gentle vibrations then you might also appreciate this toy too, but it’s a long shot.
If you can find it in a store first then I’d recommend trying a sample version there. Alternatively, I’d recommend you buying this one only if you’re absolutely confident that gentle vibrations are the best way forward for you.
Otherwise this toy is rather vexing in many different ways, chief among them being its complete and utter lack of potency.
Recommend to:
- People who like very gentle vibrations.
- People who like the design.
- People who like the lipstick shape.
Do Not Recommend to:
- People who dislike gentle vibrations.
- People who dislike these designs.
- People who dislike single button controls.