Remember how I recently just did a review of a bullet that retailed at just under £100, had a larger-than-average frame, and its main selling point was a lot of patterns (like 20+)?
Whelp, here’s its £39 counterpart.
The Maia Angel Crystal Gems Rechargeable 25-Speed Bullet Vibrator
I’m being a bit unfair with that opener.
In truth the Maia Angel Crystal Gems Rechargeable 25-Speed Bullet Vibrator has a lot to differentiate it from the FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet. The first would be that it’s not coated with a heavy metallic outer section, which is either going to be awesome or a total downer depending on how your felt about your bullet having a bit of icy heft to it.
Instead the Maia Angel Crystal Gems Rechargeable 25-Speed Bullet Vibrator opts for a more conventional ABS plastic outer section which has then been coated in a very fine layer of silicone. This silicone is matte, body-safe, and phthalate-free and is pretty much what you’d expect from a bullet vibrator.
What you might not expect from a bullet vibe, however, is the very shimmery chrome crystalline lower segment of this toy. Mainly a space for the button (and the guiding point to get to it), this section is what gives this toy its ‘crystal gems’ name, making it just a little bit closer in name to a show I love and a little bit closer in appearance to an aesthetic I hate.
You’ll have to forgive me but I’m not generally a ‘big bling’ kind of gal, at least when it comes to the artificial kind. I like my shinies to be of an authentic nature and either understated or so excessively excessive that you’d think it came straight from a recreation of the Crowned Jewels collection.
The Maia Angel Crystal Gems Rechargeable 25-Speed Bullet Vibrator provides neither option with its handle section and instead looks more ‘chav’ than ‘class’ but, hey-ho, that’s a personal preference thing right there.
I will admit to liking the pale purple that the Maia Angel Crystal Gems Rechargeable 25-Speed Bullet Vibrator is rocking, though. I find this pastel shade to be rather neglected at times, especially when contrasted to the more popularly employed purple of many adult toys, so it’s nice to see it get some time to shine.
The Maia Angel Crystal Gems Rechargeable 25-Speed Bullet Vibrator in all other ways is pretty standard as bullets/potential insertible designs go.
This toy comes in with a straight shaft which tapers in a lipstick style at the tip, allowing for it to be used as either a pinpoint product or something more flat and enveloping.
Holding and pressing its single diamond-ish button will turn it on or off and pressing it will filter through 25 different patterns.
I maintain that there is no logical reason for anyone to ever want nor need 25 different patterns but I guess that’s why I’ve never been cast as an action/adventure hero; I just don’t live life on the edge enough.
In all seriousness, the patterns offer a fair amount of variations (as they bloody well should!) and are a good entry-level way for people to explore such differences in vibration style – especially for the lower retail price offered by this toy.
One thing that I do like about the more rigid design of this bullet-eque vibe (and bullets in general) is that its firness allows the vibrations and patterns to come through clearer. Think of squishy silicone toys and the like as a pair of glasses with Vaseline smeared on them – sure you get an impression of things but sometimes it can be a bit fussy or blurred in by the material. ABS plastic, on the other hand, offer perfect clarity – glasses with the lenses polished to perfection.
This is good with the Maia Angel Crystal Gems Rechargeable 25-Speed Bullet Vibrator because the vibrations it has to offer a nice. Deep and quivering with a consistent hum to them that will always leave one’s thighs with a resonating impression. Power has not been compromised in the price of this vibrator and I am so thankful to say that.
Granted, you won’t get the thuddy, juddering rumble of some larger and more potent adult products, but I wouldn’t expect that from a toy of this size anyway – the size being 4.7 inches in total length, 4 inches in insertible length, and 0.9 inches in width.
Of course, with this toy (as with the Bougie) its intermediary size of not-quite-a-bullet-but-not-quite-an-insertible does make it exist in a somewhat awkward middling space. You can’t put this toy in a dildo’s bullet sleeve, strap-on space, or any other bullet slot really. Nor can you necessarily consider it large enough to create any real extensive filling or internal stimulation (outside of the potency of its vibrations). I mean, let’s put it this way; this toy ain’t vying to hit the G-Spot, that’s for sure.
Yet the size is still comfortable enough to hold while engaging in some partnered positions and it works just fine as a clitoral, perineal, or nipple stimulator, or in any other place you might want to put it. Not anal though – a lack of flared base means no anal for this bad boy.
My orgasms with this toy were really good too. Nothing that is going to have me drooling over it and craving it evermore, like I do the Lelo Smartwand Large or the Doxy 3, but satisfying in the orgasm-inducing and prolonging manner that you would really want from a toy.
It’s certainly on par in strength with the previous bullet I reviewed, but at a fraction of the price.
I also find that the lack of erratic bulging means that, should you wish to use this toy for something like Vaginismus recovery then you’re more than capable of doing so. Heck, I’d probably do so and in such cases I think the tacky geometric crystal base would actually reassure me: It’s a heck of a lot easier to keep a good pinching grip on then a bullet or toy that’s smooth the whole way down. Just sayin’
If there were any other downsides worth mentioning for this toy then they would be to do with the controls, though, and with the charge section.
This toy is Waterproof and USB rechargeable (with a 2 hour battery life) but the charge prong is one of those thin and spindly prods which you feel uncomfortable showing in to the toy for fear of breaking it. I’ve seen and read of this sapping people’s confidence when using toys before so it’s always a shame to see it make an appearance on a product.
As for the controls? The diamond-y button is simply uncomfortable to press and even worst to hold and, oh, just for added bonus points you have to hold it abnormally long to turn it both on and off. My fingers took a pounding using this toy, and not in a good way.
These are ultimately rather finicky gripes, however, and for a toy of this price I really don’t expect perfection, all I want is performance and this toy sure did deliver.
Final Thoughts
The Maia Angel Crystal Gems Rechargeable 25-Speed Bullet Vibrator is a prime example of what can be done with bullet-esque toys at the moment without having to break the bank in production or purchase.
This toy has a solid shape, strong vibrations, and enough patterns to fill the duration of an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Heck, you could probably make a fun vibe game like change the patterns whenever Giles cleans his glasses. That’d be fun.
There are some minor irritations with this toy, and its size won’t be quite the right fit if you want a tried and true classic bullet but I can still put my recommendations behind this product.
Even if it looks tacky as all hell.
Recommend to:
- People who like larger bullets.
- Pattern lovers.
- People who like firm toys.
Do Not Recommend to:
- People looking for a slimmer bullet.
- People who dislike excessive patterns.
- People who prefer softer toys.