One very important thing to know about me is that I am a rather practical person, albeit rather compassionate and emotional too.
Still, I tend to veer more towards pragmatism, factfulness, and a more sensible approach to life where possible, and that extends to sex toy purchases too.
There was a time where this meant that there were a few toys that I could clearly signpost in mind mind as ‘worth saving for’ where as others were ‘an affordable but poor investment’ and those amazing toys that were both powerful and reasonably priced were the true gems that I lived for.
Now, however, many more toys out there have struck the power and price balance to a perfect degree that when it comes to expensive toys you really do have to stand out to justify your price tag.
The FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet Vibrator is, in my opinion, a very expensive bullet.
Even if you do manage to get the 10% discount for subscribing to Peepshowtoys, or other discounted occasions, this toy’s RRP of 99.99 won’t go down much in relation to a 10% discount and a 99.99 tag for a bullet is a pretty damned audacious ask in this day and age.
So, what makes the FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet Vibrator worth the price tag that it is currently sitting at (if anything at all).
It’s deep dive time.
The FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet Vibrator
The FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet Vibrator is a bit of an unconventional bullet, which does help it stand out from competitors.
The key initial difference with this toy has to be the material that FemmeFunn have chosen to use. The FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet Vibrator is made from an anodized aluminium exterior which adds weight, sensation, and practical benefits to the toy during use.
Let’s talk through each of these components, starting with weight. This bullet feels like a hefty investment in one’s own pleasure. Coming in at 4.75 inches in total length, 4.5 inches in useable length, and with a maximum width of about 1 inch, the FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet Vibrator is quite large by ‘bullet’ standards and its extra size and metal body gives it over 100g of weight.
This might not seem like much but it’s important to consider how you’re going to use it and your personal preference and capabilities with toys.
Imagine, for a moment, that you like doing it doggy style and holding this toy against your clit while being pounded. Is the extra weight of this toy eventually going to get tedious? Perhaps you get chronic fatigue or hand cramps. How would the extra size and weight impact that?
Maybe, on the other hand, you like lying down or being seated would the FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet Vibrator work well for you in such instances (naturally adding more pressure)? Perhaps you like inserting bullets and find yourself swooning at the varied bulge of this bullet only to find yourself fluttering even more at the idea of some extra weight sliding in to you?
There is no wrong way to navigate the weight of this toy but it should be a clear consideration when purchasing.
The aluminium aspect of this toy brings sensation play to the table in the form of a frosty cold exterior in its default state. This toy can also be heated in water to meet people’s needs (as it is waterproof) meaning you’ve essentially got a bullet with easy and intuitive built-in sensation play.
I really do appreciate this element of the FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet Vibrator and admit that it adds an incredibly appealing element to play, but that’s because I am a glutton for variation in sensation.
And variety is this bullet’s modus operandi.
I say this because the FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet Vibrator comes with a hefty 20 different pattern variations, 3 of which are continuous with varying intensities and 17 of which are different patterns.
This is an interesting choice but…seriously…how many vibration patterns does a person need?
I have yet to meet anyone who had been sold or swayed on a toy purely by the sheer quantity of its patterns.
Never once has anyone ever given me any kind of feedback pertaining to a preference for patterns, so I really do have to query just why this bullet (or any) feel like this is where money and technology should be put for toys.
Colour me befuddled.
Especially given that this toy has only a single button for changing the pattern, making it a bit tedious to filter through if you are a fan of varying the patterns.
The power of this toy, however, is where the FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet Vibrator scores some very clear, very objective brownie points.
This toy is powerful, rumbly, effective and conducive of orgasms so efficient, deep, and profound that you’d think it were a University Professor specializing in philosophical discourse. A hot one, obviously, like young Dumbledore in Fantastic Beasts and the Crimes of Grindlewald (probably one of the best components of the movie, imo).
I do think that this toy would easily be able to appeal to power queens but, honestly, so would so many other bullet vibrators on the market right now.
It’s strength and rumble is really, really nice, but I own at least five other bullets that come in similar, all of which retail at less than 99.99 and all of which avoid the divisive element of having a metal exterior.
The rest of the FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet Vibrator is nice but standard: USB rechargeable, easy to clean (as it’s waterproof), equipped with a memory function (really a must for this kind of toy), and equipped with a warranty.
Really, the only other thing that makes this toy stand out is its swanky charge case, but I’d rather the price of this bullet was slashed by the case not being included, as a case is basically just a nice add-on at best and an annoying space-stealer at most.
In terms of other objective downsides, the FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet Vibrator is a large bullet, which means it won’t really fit in other bullet sleeves, nor toys that facilitate bullets, meaning you miss out on that element too.
Oh and it’s not a whisper quiet toy either, so people will likely detect the light buzzing hum of this product in action in quiet homes with thin walls.
Not ideal for a toy teetering on the edge of 100.00.
Final Thoughts
Overall I had a really good time with the FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet Vibrator and I would never deny that but it’s a time that can had with so many other bullets nowadays at a fraction of the price.
Neither the metallic element nor the pattern variation can really justify the price in my mind and so, although I like this bullet, it is hard for me to really recommend this to anyone.
Sorry FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet Vibrator. You’re a close winner but no cigar.
Recommend to:
- People who really want an aluminium bullet.
- People who love rumbly bullets.
- People who like larger bullets.
Do Not Recommend to:
- People who want a standard bullet.
- People who want a cheaper bullet.
- People who dislike heavy/metallic toys.