Sensuelle Point Plus Bullet Vibrator review

If you know me to any extent then you know that wands are, first and foremost, my jam.

But, in at a close second are bullet vibrators. Or, to be more specific, good bullet vibrators.

Bullet vibrators kind of have an appropriate name, in many ways. In terms of form and function they can either be spot on – a clear bulleye – or they can miss their target dreadfully and make you question if a Stormtrooper wasn’t behind their execution.

Most of the cheap bullets that you get by the tills or in supermarket shelves tend to fit in to the latter, the Sensuelle Point Plus Bullet Vibrator is definitely in the former category instead.

But is a bullet ever really enough on its own nowadays?

Gone are the times when the We-Vibe Tango was pretty much the only product that would allow you some semblance of a good time with a bullet. Now we have so many powerful bullets on the market that you can get yourself one for £15-20 and be met with the kind of potent enjoyment that used to be such an exclusive (and expensive) affair in years prior.

Bullet vibes need to up their game in order to stay relevant.

At least that’s what Sensuelle seem to have considered in their latest offering because this isn’t just a bullet. Oh no. This is a bullet with accessories!

If that sounds cheesy it’s because it kind of is, but accessories do have the potential to make a huge difference to a toy depending on how they’re executed (case in point: the various heads of the Eroscillator).

So, is the Sensuelle Point Plus Bullet Vibrator and its included accessories enough to justify a purchase? Read on to find out.

The Sensuelle Point Plus Bullet Vibrator 

The Sensuelle Point Plus Bullet Vibrator  is a bullet vibrator much like many others in quite a few regards.

Specification-wise it measures in at about 3.6 inches in length with a maximum diameter of 1 inch. This is relatively standard and allows for this product to fit happily in the hand or in between fingers during use.

When I think bullet vibrators my mind immediately goes back to the years when I would try and hold on to a bullet and apply it to my clit while engaging in PiV penetrative sex.

Sometimes the experience would be pleasant, effortless, and give me the power I needed to clench my way to a climax.

Oftentimes the bullet would be too slippery when lubricated, too large to fit comfortably between our pelvic regions, or too small to prevent painful hand cramping or awkward grasping issues during consistent poundings.

I am thankful to report that the Sensuelle Point Plus Bullet Vibrator manages to avoid being one of the awkward bullets that would cause such issues for most users, as a slight bell-ing out of the bottom allows for an easier grip and the surface and size of this toy keep it comfortable without being too slim or chunky.

The surface of the Sensuelle Point Plus Bullet Vibrator  is made from ABS plastic with a smooth matte silicone coating which is non-porous, phthalate-free, and completely body safe. You can easily clean this toy with a rinse in water and a toy cleaner (or with soap), especially as it’s completely submersible.

A convenient little charging dock is provided for the Sensuelle Point Plus Bullet Vibrator and the bullet also comes with a storage bag and the cable for its charging, not to mention a 1 year warranty in case of any issues.

Alongside this bullet you get two little silicone rings, essentially, which fit comfortably on to the toy or on to the fingers of users with petite hands. I really like that Sensuelle opted for rings instead of a sleeve for multiple reasons. Firstly, sleeves have been done to death and we all know it. There’s really nothing snazzy looking about a sleeve. Secondly, there’s not much need for a sleeve either. Most people who use bullets stick near the top or a slim side of the toy in order to gain their sensations. A sleeve with texture or material all the way down a bullet’s shaft just doesn’t get used and therefore adds bulk to the toy for no reason and waste to the environment at our own expense.

In contrast these little rings can be easily slotted on to the Sensuelle Point Plus Bullet Vibrator, are much easier to remove (so you’re not left fighting to try and pry a sleeve off a messy, mucky bullet), and can also be used independent of the Sensuelle Point Plus Bullet Vibrator if you wish. One of my favourite uses is to put the sleeves on two of my finger tips and to vary between finger strokes and vibrations when playing with the Sensuelle Point Plus Bullet Vibrator. There’s no reason why others couldn’t do this too, especially couples, who might abandon the bullet altogether but continue enjoying the ring/s in the heat of a sexual climax.

The two sleeves included are a noduled brush-like one and a more subtle ribbed one. My favourite is probably the brush one, as it adds a bit more acute sensation, but both feel soft, smooth, and luxurious.

As for the bullet itself? Yowsa! One of the improvements Sensuelle have made with this bullet is to add a power boosted motor which is just…wow. This is probably one of the more powerful bullets on the market right now and, although it does have a slight buzz, the prevailing sensation is a deep humming that is very good at satisfying my needs, and hopefully those of other users too. There are a whopping 20 different functions for this bullet, all controlled but I’m not a big pattern lover so I couldn’t really attest to just how good these are. All I can say is that they’re powerful. 30% more powerful than the original Sensuelle Bullet offered, if you’re considering this as an upgrade.

Sensuelle pitches this product as rather discreet but I’m not too sure on that point. Nowadays pretty much everyone knows what a bullet vibrator is and without a designated travel lock there’s not much discretion for business trips either. This toy is relatively loud, too, and there’s no way that this product looks discreet when charging at all.

With most bullet vibes (or any toy) you could always sort of slip the product away in to a top drawer while it’s charging but the stationary port for the Sensuelle Point Plus Bullet Vibrator means you’re limited in this regard and often having to display your charging sex device. This won’t be ideal for many.

In terms of other downsides, the Sensuelle Point Plus Bullet Vibrator will be a noisy or powerful product for some, and its intensity is a subjective con for those who like it gentler. Even on its more delicate settings I don’t think this toy knows how to be ‘gentle’.

2 hours and 30 minutes for a 60 minute charge is also pretty crazy in terms of return too, especially as Sensuelle recommend not using it for more that 30 minutes continually at any given time. Not that I’m saying my loving sessions are beyond a 30 straight minute stretch consistently, but it’s always nice to have the option.

Price-wise it’s also hard to justify the Sensuelle Point Plus Bullet Vibrator’s tag now, especially given what I said above about bullets being widely and cheaply available nowadays. Sure, this toy has added accessories but are they really worth a premium price tag? I’m not too sure.

Final Thoughts

This is a bit of a tricky one.

Objectively the Sensuelle Point Plus Bullet Vibrator performs excellently. It’s powerful, it’s body safe, and the addition of the two rings really does feel like it offers more play options for users. But at £69 and with such a poor charge-to-play ratio I do feel like it’s missing the mark in a few key accessory areas.

This is especially the case given that the Maia Jessi and similar products now offer enticing and viable options with very little detriment in user experience.

Ultimately I hand the decision over to you when it comes to the Sensuelle Point Plus Bullet Vibrator.

This is a product that can and will deliver everything it says it does and gets my recommendation for that. If what it offers is worth the money for you, however, is a personal matter.

Recommend to:

  • Power devotees.
  • People looking for accessories.
  • People who like the Sensuelle vibrations already.

Do Not Recommend to:

  • People who prefer gentle vibrations.
  • People who want a cheaper bullet.
  • People who like gentler/quieter vibrations.

Orethic Organic Cloth Pads review

Sanitary products are no joking matter.

Did you know that, in a lifetime, an average menstruating individual will use 12,000-15,000 disposable sanitary products.

These products don’t compose easily (or at all), are responsible for 70-75% of all UK drain blockage issues and leech dangerous chemicals in to both our bodies and then the environment when disposed of.

A single sanitary pad can be made from up to 90% plastic and be the equivalent in plastic of 4 plastic shopping bags.

The environmental impact is intense.

More than this, many sanitary towels are awkward, irritating, hurt the skin, and have fragrances or other chemicals used in their creation which just doesn’t mesh well with the body.

Our vaginas and vulvas are pretty smart cookies: they self regulate to a large extent but when they’re met with inhospitable materials (especially during prolonged use) they just don’t get a chance to recover and to work to the fullest extent.

That is where cloth pads come in to the picture.

The Orethic Organic Cloth Pads

Orethic is one of many companies that offers sustainable cloth pad options, but they’re one of my favourites. This is because I had the great pleasure of meeting the lady who runs Orethic and her approach to cloth pads, eco-friendly menstruation, and being kind to ourselves and the environment in general was absolutely top notch.

The benefits of cloth pads are innumerate but here are just a few that I personally find to be significant.

Cloth pads can be used time and time again. All you need to do after each use is soak them, wash them, and then use them again. Sure, this means you have a larger initial investment (and you need to factor in water bills and pad cycling) but in the long run you are saving a small fortune in terms of the amount you would spend on disposable pads in a lifetime. In comparison these pads will go for many cycles, given the right care.

Because they lack any chemical component, plastic lining, or added fragrance, these pads are also incredibly kind to the body and brilliant for those with sensitive skin. I remember I used to be itchy, irritated and generally unable to cope when I used to use disposable pads. I’d get a rash every single cycle and I’d feel like I was just locked in a spiral of many distressing months to come. This was especially hard in my teenage years, where the discomfort and physical distress that my pads caused me actually meant I couldn’t fully focus on what I was being taught.

This is something that a lot of younger ladies might struggle with too but, thankfully, it’s something that I didn’t struggle with at all when using the Orethic Organic Cloth Pads. Not only are these pads made from organic cotton but they actually feel like they’re made from exceptionally high quality and well-treated material. Soft as a rash-free booty, these pads almost caressed my skin with each use and were just so amazingly comfortable and snug. No chemicals meant no irritation to my sensitive skin and I noticed much less sweat and dampness too. Just a pleasant wear all around.

Flow can sometimes be an issue for me but this is where cloth pads can come in handy too. You can pretty easily select the pad size that you require from your flow and go from there. What’s really good about the Orethic Organic Cloth Pad range is that they involve several internal layers of fabric, including a non-polyester inner layer, for even more additional security and flow protection. The measurements for each pad size are easily identified and there is an option to buy a multipack for those who vary with their flow (which I do massively at times). Sure, you may not have the convenience of being able to remove their pads and then chuck them away but the comfort, security, and savings really do make it worth it in my mind.

The Orethic Organic Cloth Pads come in a variety of different colours, but I’m a big fan of the Tierra ones. This is because they are lacking in any extensive dying, so you can see the processed cotton just as it’s intended to be.

For those who do like a bit of colour in their lives, though, it might interest you to know that the Dragonfly design offered up by Orethics was actually drawn by a young family member of hers. The tiny little lad decided that dragonflies would be a lovely thing to put on to cloth and the owner firmly agreed and made it so.

Such is the wonderfully intimate, open, and normalizing nature of these Cloth Pads, which help to make periods less taboo and less terrible in general.

It’s also a great testament to all the little quirks, charms, and caring little details that you can get when investing your money in small or indie creators and suppliers. Sure, larger companies have their place, but I quite like the idea of having cloth pads with dragonflies on then conjured from the whimsical and innocent mind of a happy child.

Final Thoughts

Cloth pads will not be for everyone.

Many people still find them to be bulky, irritating, or generally a bit too much of a faff.

A lot of people will say you should opt for a menstrual cup or sponge instead.

But, here’s the deal (and fair trigger warning here) I have known women who have had miscarriages, a history of sexual assault, some form of personal trauma, or just internal sensitivities that make it so that cups and other insertibles are just not an option for them.

Heck, when I had Vaginismus there would have been absolutely no way that I could have used a cup.

For people like this Cloth Pads offer the option of a period better enjoyed and better for the planet without having to worry about being forced to do something they cannot or wear items that hurt them.

The Orethic Organic Cloth Pads are a great option for any people in such circumstances, or for those who simply prefer pads over tampons and the like.  I highly recommend them and think that this company deserves a big shout out in general for their menstrual and nappy range.

Recommend to:

  • People looking for sustainable period products.
  • People who dislike inserting sanitary products.
  • People who prefer pads.

Do Not Recommend to:

  • People who dislike pads.
  • People who avoid cotton (due to the plant’s water-consumption levels).
  • People who cannot access cloth pads at the moment due to living circumstances.

Fun Factory Laya II Powerful Rechargeable Lay-On Clitoral Vibrator review

For many years I have sampled and enjoyed Fun Factory Stronics, vibrators, and dildos. Yet, in the same time I have deliberately avoided the Laya line.

Why? Because, by all accounts the original Laya seemed to be a gentler vibrator with some lukewarm reviews, thus I didn’t see the point of reviewing it and chiming my power-loving voice in to the collective of reviewers.

That was, of course, utterly absurd of me.

I know full well (as much as any of us should) that my voice, experiences, and opinion are unique to me and shape how I interact with toys and thus write about them for you. I also know that we should never ignore the value of our voices and that it’s important to recognise we can contribute something amazing to this world, even if we don’t see it.

So when I saw that the Laya II was an accessible review option to me I took that opportunity up with revived gusto.

But, knowing that the original Laya was, by reputation, on the less ‘oompish’ side how did I find the Laya II to be?

In a move that will surprise no one, it’s time to explore that question together.

The Fun Factory Laya II Powerful Rechargeable Lay-On Clitoral Vibrator

The Fun Factory Laya II Powerful Rechargeable Lay-On Clitoral Vibrator doesn’t leave much to the imagination in terms of its rather descriptive name on the Shevibe site (Shevibe being the company who sent it to me for review).

This is a toy that is quite precisely designed to lay on the vulva and act as a clitoral stimulator with a certain amount of power in it.also it’s rechargeable. The future is now people.

I say that, but rechargeable toys have actually been less ‘the future’ and more ‘the standard’ for a number of years now. This is no longer 2014 where I praise toys by default for liberating themselves from the impact and limitations of disposable batteries.

Instead, the fact that this toy is rechargeable, 100% waterproof, comes with a user warranty, and has a built in travel lock are all pretty common toy features. In fact, one could even give this toy a little tut of disapproval for not also coming with a storage bag as part of the parcel. Toys are high performers in this day and age.

What I will say as a bonus for Fun Factory (and they’ve done this for years) is that the Laya II comes in cardboard packaging rather than plastic, making it more eco-friendly and sustainable in general. This will please a lot of potential purchasers as the environment is a pretty hot topic right now, sometimes quite literally #globalwarming

What’s perhaps a little bit more fascinating about the Laya II is that is comes with specific storage and charge details. This little clit-tle vibe is best stored at 0-40 degrees Celsius, to charge it takes 4-6 hours from complete drainage, if fully charged it can be on standby for 3 months while still holding some charge and it can be charged up to 500 times. The more you know.

Of more interest to users is likely the fact that this toy is made from a combo of ABS plastic and smooth, matte silicone. This silicone grabs dust and hair quite readily and has a very grippy feel to it when unlubricated. If you’ve ever felt or used the fitness slider discs they use at gyms or during home workouts it’s kind of like that. (If you’ve ever used one of those too and want to replicate the effect at home then here’s my Protip: Paper plates. They work just as well).

This material does feel quite nice when placed on or in between the labia unlubricated specifically because it’s got such a grip. The result is an almost reactive sensation from the surface of the Laya II, as if it is actively responding to and providing to the body. Think of it like one of those bird toys that you could balance on your finger by their beak as a kid: There’s something just so appealing about an inanimate object seemingly offering something in return for your own actions.

Lubricated it is also nice, but much smoother in nature (as you’d expect) and so oddly not my preference in this case.

Speaking of action/reaction, the button system of the Laya II is operated via one on/off button and a + and a –

These will filter you through the toy’s 10 different vibration patterns. The Laya II will remember your pattern if you hold on to the on/off ‘Fun’ button for 2 seconds as one of its features, which is nice but also means you need to know how to reset this feature. Pressing the same button for 4 seconds will default the toy back to factory settings.

As for the vibrations…my gosh am I conflicted on these.

Yes – they’re strong – but so is a drill. That doesn’t mean I want to put a drill to my vulva. Purpose, application, and the type of strength are key in all things.

When it comes to the Laya II it’s vibrations are…well…buzzy. Extremely buzzy. High-pitched buzzy too. And, as you might imagine, when you combine this with a lot of strength then you can be left with a this-is-kind-of-hurting-my-clit type of sensation, which is exactly what I got from the Laya II.

You might be thinking “Stupid Emmeline, just turn the intensity down” which I tried, but then because this toy isn’t necessary rumbly (okay, it just isn’t at all) the lower buzz doesn’t necessarily offer much in terms of depth and gratification, at least not for me.

Not that I can say that the Laya II’s shrill offering was exactly satisfying on my clit but, I’ll tell ya what – the first time I used it the experience went like this:

“Wow, this is buzzy…really buzzy. I don’t think I like this at Al—oh…Oh…OoooOOOOoooh!”

Yeah, I was basically forced in to a very strong and pretty swift orgasm while still having my first thoughts.

The Laya II has continued to perform like this but then I immediately have to whip it away from my clit, otherwise its intense buzz actually feels like it burns my sensitive and swollen erogenous zone. This means I can’t really effectively ride orgasms with the Laya II, or at least the experience is diminished a little.

This is a shame but of course it will be personal to some degree. I’d imagine those who like and are used to buzzy vibrations will have the time of their life all Dirty Dancing style with this quirky clitoral offering. Power queens who like rumble and depth, however, are best investing their £70 odd quid elsewhere.

I wouldn’t say there are many other definitive or objective downsides to the Laya II. Its vibrations surprised me with where they ended up coming from, but that didn’t detract from the effectiveness of using the toy, nor how well the shape worked. Having said that, those who prefer pinpoint sensation will find the design of this toy lacking.

Final Thoughts

Overall, however, the effectiveness and likeability of the Fun Factory Laya II Powerful Rechargeable Lay-On Clitoral Vibrator will likely come down to if you’re a fan of the traditional ‘buzz’ of some vibrators, but with more oomph and upgraded settings.

There is no way that this toy is in any way weak, so Fun Factory have certainly improved upon that element, but I still don’t think this toy is the best in terms of performance.

I’d probably say to give the Laya II a miss and to put your money in to a different vibrator from Shevibe. I’m afraid there are just better, more refined options out there.

Recommend to:

  • People who like bee-buzz vibrations.
  • Power queens of the above category.
  • People who like the shape.

Do Not Recommend to:

  • People who like rumbly vibrations.
  • People who prefer gentle vibrations.
  • People who prefer pinpoint clitoral toys.

Lovely 2.0 review

Rarely do I get a toy where the product’s name is 100% accurate to how it performs, but there you go: The Lovely 2.0 is absolutely lovely in every way, shape, and form.

But, hey ho, if we left things there then I wouldn’t be doing you or Lovely 2.0 much justice, so you can be sure that I’m going to dive in to things a bit more.

Diving in to things is much more Lovely 2.0‘s thing than mine at times, though. I confess, I’m not one of those SEO wizards who always has an eye on her stats trying to manipulate the analytics or hit a certain reach per week/day. It’s just not me…at least not when it comes to my site. I’m pretty much here to just try and say my thing and hopefully help people along the way, and so my stats are more periphery than they probably should be.

Lovely 2.0, on the other hand, offers up statistics so extensive, quirky and (best of all) sex and relationship related that my sex nerd side cannot help but squee at the sheer brilliance of this product, neither can my relationship & wellbeing side.

Lovely 2.0

“But Emmeline,” you might be saying, “There are SO MANY app-based sex toys on the market now. You yourself have said that you barely use them and I don’t want to get my phone sticky for nothing. Is Lovely 2.0 really all that special?”

I feel ya, my hypothetical reader (who probably says more about myself than my actual readers, but I digress). I am a very sceptical reviewer when it comes to the purpose and practicality of app-based sex toys, in certain circumstances.

Those circumstances would be where the app is basically just a glorified remote control button – doing no more that the button on the toy or, shock of shocks, a wireless remote control button would be able to do. And, yes, perhaps having a toy that links to your phone might seem more convenient in the moment but phones are an expensive luxury and I’m not bringing mine to the place with the lubricants, oils, candles, and sticky, pointy things unless it’s going to do something that my toy’s remote can’t.

That’s where Lovely 2.0 carves its niche.

Y’see Lovely 2.0 is less about the included wearable per say. Sure, the wearable is part of it all but notice the terminology in just that little bit of this paragraph. It’s a ‘wearable’ – part of a more comprehensive experience that Lovely 2.0 are trying to carve out for its users, and this is where the value of Lovely 2.0 comes in.

Lovely 2.0 is all about tapping in to the sexual encounters that it is used during and then trying to enhance or vary those experiences based on the data that it collects. All you need to do is wear the Lovely 2.0 wearable during sex (either around a shaft for a firm erection and increased sensation or on the fingers for more clitoral or gender neutral explorations). Afterwards yourself and your partner can then go on to the Lovely 2.0 app at any point to explore different positions, give feedback on your session, say what you liked, what you didn’t like, what you did in general, and all the good stuff.

From there the Lovely 2.0 algorithm will offer up further suggestions, positions, and experiences which you can then explore together in future sessions – continuing to try new things, explore, and communicate about your experiences in one convenient app.

You might think this all sounds a bit disconnected and clinical but is it really?

I personally found the Lovely 2.0 app to be bright, open, and (above all else) highly connected. Connected not only to the device (always helpful) and the net but also to the user’s feelings and ideas about what helps a healthy relationship succeed. It encourages users to think about their feelings, communicate, share any potential sexual desires they might have and generally acts a shared mindfulness journal for sexual exploration and mutual bonding.

How absolutely lovely does that sound!? And there’s that word again.

The same can be applied to the wearable itself. This toy (primarily a cock ring or clitoral stimulator) is made from silicone and has a nice stretchy section to allow for shafts or fingers to easily and comfortably be inserted. Every time this ring was used for testing it seemed to fit suitably and without issue or constriction.

Silicone in general is non-porous, phthalate-free and completely body safe, making it the sex toy material of choice. But what set Lovely 2.0 apart was just how smooth and delicate it felt against my fingers. I was legitimately taken aback when I first picked this toy up and ran my fingers across it. I’m used to ‘soft’ toys, but I really wasn’t ready for just how truly gentle and, dare I say, sweet Lovely 2.0 felt. It was like attending a traditional British picnic on a summer’s day. All strawberries, cream, and delicate pink blossoms. That was the mental picture that so clearly came to mind when it came to this toy’s silicone.

Against my vulva it was just as beautifully poised for stroking up against the body, and the rimmed section means that with every thrust users get contact not just with the silicone softness but also a little bit of tantalizing texture. It’s a very good combination.

As this toy is waterproof it is incredibly easy to clean and much to my joy it’s also not a dust and fur magnet. Thank the sex gods. This toy is also rechargeable has unlimited remote controlled patterns due to its app (I count this as standard for app-based toys, not exceptional), and even tells you how many calories you’ve burned if you want!

I consider this to perhaps be one of the problematic elements of Lovely 2.0, especially for people who might have disordered eating, an eating disorder, or just don’t want to know, but I think many others will actually enjoy the novel sexercise aspect that it brings in to play.

Glamour certainly thought so, saying ‘Better sex, vibrations, and workout tips in one? Sign us up!’

And that attitude is it really – this is a toy all about connecting couples, educating people, and just really encouraging people to think about their sexual encounters, as opposed to assuming that sex has to be a complacent or familiar act. It doesn’t and we can engage with it so many different ways, Lovely 2.0 being one of them.

Alas, another potential ‘downside’ I must mention is the vibrations. They really aren’t a downside at all to my mind, they rumble and purr and massage the body buuut they’re mid-strength. Power queens probably won’t get much from Lovely 2.0 unless they’re really trying to wring an orgasm out of their body. This will be a problem for those who need oomph.

I’ve never really seen the point or effectiveness of power in a ring toy like this though…that is if you’re using it as a cock ring. If it’s your primary continual clitoral stimulation, however, and you know that you need a lot of power then I’m afraid Lovely 2.0 just isn’t there for you…yet. For all other situations, though, this toy is such a refreshing and brilliant approach to both ring wearables and app-based toys in general and I am overjoyed to have tried it out.

Final Thoughts

Lovely 2.0 has been described by Bustle as Lovely 2.0 ‘like a sexual playground for you to run amok in’ and I couldn’t agree more.

This is a product that brings back that sense of playful, sweet wonder of being able to discover and explore new ways to find the fun in life.

For anyone who is an app nerd, a sexercise fan, a delicate vibe digger, or just simply curious as to what a platform to mutually communicate might have to offer then I highly recommend Lovely 2.0.

If I had a continual partner right now then I think I’d be going full deep dive in to it with them with sheer joy, and I believe it has the ability to provide that feeling to many others.

Recommend to:

  • Couples looking to explore.
  • Newcomers to sex toys.
  • App and analytic lovers.

Do Not Recommend to:

  • People who like to switch off during sex.
  • People who need strong vibrations.
  • People who dislike this wearable design.

FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet Vibrator review

One very important thing to know about me is that I am a rather practical person, albeit rather compassionate and emotional too.

Still, I tend to veer more towards pragmatism, factfulness, and a more sensible approach to life where possible, and that extends to sex toy purchases too.

There was a time where this meant that there were a few toys that I could clearly signpost in mind mind as ‘worth saving for’ where as others were ‘an affordable but poor investment’ and those amazing toys that were both powerful and reasonably priced were the true gems that I lived for.

Now, however, many more toys out there have struck the power and price balance to a perfect degree that when it comes to expensive toys you really do have to stand out to justify your price tag.

The FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet Vibrator is, in my opinion, a very expensive bullet.

Even if you do manage to get the 10% discount for subscribing to Peepshowtoys, or other discounted occasions, this toy’s RRP of 99.99 won’t go down much in relation to a 10% discount and a 99.99 tag for a bullet is a pretty damned audacious ask in this day and age.

So, what makes the FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet Vibrator worth the price tag that it is currently sitting at (if anything at all).

It’s deep dive time.

The FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet Vibrator

The FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet Vibrator is a bit of an unconventional bullet, which does help it stand out from competitors.

The key initial difference with this toy has to be the material that FemmeFunn have chosen to use. The FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet Vibrator is made from an anodized aluminium exterior which adds weight, sensation, and practical benefits to the toy during use.

Let’s talk through each of these components, starting with weight. This bullet feels like a hefty investment in one’s own pleasure. Coming in at 4.75 inches in total length, 4.5 inches in useable length, and with a maximum width of about 1 inch, the FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet Vibrator is quite large by ‘bullet’ standards and its extra size and metal body gives it over 100g of weight.

This might not seem like much but it’s important to consider how you’re going to use it and your personal preference and capabilities with toys.

Imagine, for a moment, that you like doing it doggy style and holding this toy against your clit while being pounded. Is the extra weight of this toy eventually going to get tedious? Perhaps you get chronic fatigue or hand cramps. How would the extra size and weight impact that?

Maybe, on the other hand, you like lying down or being seated would the FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet Vibrator work well for you in such instances (naturally adding more pressure)? Perhaps you like inserting bullets and find yourself swooning at the varied bulge of this bullet only to find yourself fluttering even more at the idea of some extra weight sliding in to you?

There is no wrong way to navigate the weight of this toy but it should be a clear consideration when purchasing.

The aluminium aspect of this toy brings sensation play to the table in the form of a frosty cold exterior in its default state. This toy can also be heated in water to meet people’s needs (as it is waterproof) meaning you’ve essentially got a bullet with easy and intuitive built-in sensation play.

I really do appreciate this element of the FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet Vibrator and admit that it adds an incredibly appealing element to play, but that’s because I am a glutton for variation in sensation.

And variety is this bullet’s modus operandi.

I say this because the FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet Vibrator comes with a hefty 20 different pattern variations, 3 of which are continuous with varying intensities and 17 of which are different patterns.

This is an interesting choice but…seriously…how many vibration patterns does a person need?

I have yet to meet anyone who had been sold or swayed on a toy purely by the sheer quantity of its patterns.

Never once has anyone ever given me any kind of feedback pertaining to a preference for patterns, so I really do have to query just why this bullet (or any) feel like this is where money and technology should be put for toys.

Colour me befuddled.

Especially given that this toy has only a single button for changing the pattern, making it a bit tedious to filter through if you are a fan of varying the patterns.

The power of this toy, however, is where the FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet Vibrator scores some very clear, very objective brownie points.

This toy is powerful, rumbly, effective and conducive of orgasms so efficient, deep, and profound that you’d think it were a University Professor specializing in philosophical discourse. A hot one, obviously, like young Dumbledore in Fantastic Beasts and the Crimes of Grindlewald (probably one of the best components of the movie, imo).

I do think that this toy would easily be able to appeal to power queens but, honestly, so would so many other bullet vibrators on the market right now.

It’s strength and rumble is really, really nice, but I own at least five other bullets that come in similar, all of which retail at less than 99.99 and all of which avoid the divisive element of having a metal exterior.

The rest of the FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet Vibrator is nice but standard: USB rechargeable, easy to clean (as it’s waterproof), equipped with a memory function (really a must for this kind of toy), and equipped with a warranty.

Really, the only other thing that makes this toy stand out is its swanky charge case, but I’d rather the price of this bullet was slashed by the case not being included, as a case is basically just a nice add-on at best and an annoying space-stealer at most.

In terms of other objective downsides, the FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet Vibrator is a large bullet, which means it won’t really fit in other bullet sleeves, nor toys that facilitate bullets, meaning you miss out on that element too.

Oh and it’s not a whisper quiet toy either, so people will likely detect the light buzzing hum of this product in action in quiet homes with thin walls.

Not ideal for a toy teetering on the edge of 100.00.

Final Thoughts

Overall I had a really good time with the FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet Vibrator and I would never deny that but it’s a time that can had with so many other bullets nowadays at a fraction of the price.

Neither the metallic element nor the pattern variation can really justify the price in my mind and so, although I like this bullet, it is hard for me to really recommend this to anyone.

Sorry FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet Vibrator. You’re a close winner but no cigar.

Recommend to:

  • People who really want an aluminium bullet.
  • People who love rumbly bullets.
  • People who like larger bullets.

Do Not Recommend to:

  • People who want a standard bullet.
  • People who want a cheaper bullet.
  • People who dislike heavy/metallic toys.

Maia Angel Crystal Gems Rechargeable 25-Speed Bullet Vibrator review

Remember how I recently just did a review of a bullet that retailed at just under £100, had a larger-than-average frame, and its main selling point was a lot of patterns (like 20+)?

Whelp, here’s its £39 counterpart.

The Maia Angel Crystal Gems Rechargeable 25-Speed Bullet Vibrator

I’m being a bit unfair with that opener.

In truth the Maia Angel Crystal Gems Rechargeable 25-Speed Bullet Vibrator has a lot to differentiate it from the FemmeFunn Bougie Bullet. The first would be that it’s not coated with a heavy metallic outer section, which is either going to be awesome or a total downer depending on how your felt about your bullet having a bit of icy heft to it.

Instead the Maia Angel Crystal Gems Rechargeable 25-Speed Bullet Vibrator opts for a more conventional ABS plastic outer section which has then been coated in a very fine layer of silicone. This silicone is matte, body-safe, and phthalate-free and is pretty much what you’d expect from a bullet vibrator.

What you might not expect from a bullet vibe, however, is the very shimmery chrome crystalline lower segment of this toy. Mainly a space for the button (and the guiding point to get to it), this section is what gives this toy its ‘crystal gems’ name, making it just a little bit closer in name to a show I love and a little bit closer in appearance to an aesthetic I hate.

You’ll have to forgive me but I’m not generally a ‘big bling’ kind of gal, at least when it comes to the artificial kind. I like my shinies to be of an authentic nature and either understated or so excessively excessive that you’d think it came straight from a recreation of the Crowned Jewels collection.

The Maia Angel Crystal Gems Rechargeable 25-Speed Bullet Vibrator provides neither option with its handle section and instead looks more ‘chav’ than ‘class’ but, hey-ho, that’s a personal preference thing right there.

I will admit to liking the pale purple that the Maia Angel Crystal Gems Rechargeable 25-Speed Bullet Vibrator is rocking, though. I find this pastel shade to be rather neglected at times, especially when contrasted to the more popularly employed purple of many adult toys, so it’s nice to see it get some time to shine.

The Maia Angel Crystal Gems Rechargeable 25-Speed Bullet Vibrator in all other ways is pretty standard as bullets/potential insertible designs go.

This toy comes in with a straight shaft which tapers in a lipstick style at the tip, allowing for it to be used as either a pinpoint product or something more flat and enveloping.

Holding and pressing its single diamond-ish button will turn it on or off and pressing it will filter through 25 different patterns.

I maintain that there is no logical reason for anyone to ever want nor need 25 different patterns but I guess that’s why I’ve never been cast as an action/adventure hero; I just don’t live life on the edge enough.

In all seriousness, the patterns offer a fair amount of variations (as they bloody well should!) and are a good entry-level way for people to explore such differences in vibration style – especially for the lower retail price offered by this toy.

One thing that I do like about the more rigid design of this bullet-eque vibe (and bullets in general) is that its firness allows the vibrations and patterns to come through clearer. Think of squishy silicone toys and the like as a pair of glasses with Vaseline smeared on them – sure you get an impression of things but sometimes it can be a bit fussy or blurred in by the material. ABS plastic, on the other hand, offer perfect clarity – glasses with the lenses polished to perfection.

This is good with the Maia Angel Crystal Gems Rechargeable 25-Speed Bullet Vibrator because the vibrations it has to offer a nice. Deep and quivering with a consistent hum to them that will always leave one’s thighs with a resonating impression. Power has not been compromised in the price of this vibrator and I am so thankful to say that.

Granted, you won’t get the thuddy, juddering rumble of some larger and more potent adult products, but I wouldn’t expect that from a toy of this size anyway – the size being 4.7 inches in total length, 4 inches in insertible length, and 0.9 inches in width.

Of course, with this toy (as with the Bougie) its intermediary size of not-quite-a-bullet-but-not-quite-an-insertible does make it exist in a somewhat awkward middling space. You can’t put this toy in a dildo’s bullet sleeve, strap-on space, or any other bullet slot really. Nor can you necessarily consider it large enough to create any real extensive filling or internal stimulation (outside of the potency of its vibrations). I mean, let’s put it this way; this toy ain’t vying to hit the G-Spot, that’s for sure.

Yet the size is still comfortable enough to hold while engaging in some partnered positions and it works just fine as a clitoral, perineal, or nipple stimulator, or in any other place you might want to put it. Not anal though – a lack of flared base means no anal for this bad boy.

My orgasms with this toy were really good too. Nothing that is going to have me drooling over it and craving it evermore, like I do the Lelo Smartwand Large or the Doxy 3, but satisfying in the orgasm-inducing and prolonging manner that you would really want from a toy.

It’s certainly on par in strength with the previous bullet I reviewed, but at a fraction of the price.

I also find that the lack of erratic bulging means that, should you wish to use this toy for something like Vaginismus recovery then you’re more than capable of doing so. Heck, I’d probably do so and in such cases I think the tacky geometric crystal base would actually reassure me: It’s a heck of a lot easier to keep a good pinching grip on then a bullet or toy that’s smooth the whole way down. Just sayin’

If there were any other downsides worth mentioning for this toy then they would be to do with the controls, though, and with the charge section.

This toy is Waterproof and USB rechargeable (with a 2 hour battery life) but the charge prong is one of those thin and spindly prods which you feel uncomfortable showing in to the toy for fear of breaking it. I’ve seen and read of this sapping people’s confidence when using toys before so it’s always a shame to see it make an appearance on a product.

As for the controls? The diamond-y button is simply uncomfortable to press and even worst to hold and, oh, just for added bonus points you have to hold it abnormally long to turn it both on and off. My fingers took a pounding using this toy, and not in a good way.

These are ultimately rather finicky gripes, however, and for a toy of this price I really don’t expect perfection, all I want is performance and this toy sure did deliver.

Final Thoughts

The Maia Angel Crystal Gems Rechargeable 25-Speed Bullet Vibrator is a prime example of what can be done with bullet-esque toys at the moment without having to break the bank in production or purchase.

This toy has a solid shape, strong vibrations, and enough patterns to fill the duration of an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Heck, you could probably make a fun vibe game like change the patterns whenever Giles cleans his glasses. That’d be fun.

There are some minor irritations with this toy, and its size won’t be quite the right fit if you want a tried and true classic bullet but I can still put my recommendations behind this product.

Even if it looks tacky as all hell.

Recommend to:

  • People who like larger bullets.
  • Pattern lovers.
  • People who like firm toys.

Do Not Recommend to:

  • People looking for a slimmer bullet.
  • People who dislike excessive patterns.
  • People who prefer softer toys.

Maia Roxie Crystal Gem Lipstick Vibrator review

Okay, I think I know why this particular company made one of their bullets larger than average now:

It’s because when they stick to more standard sizes they produce products that can be rivalled by a particularly java-filled bumble bee.

The Maia Roxie Crystal Gem Lipstick Vibrator

As if sensation weren’t enough of a hindrance to a product’s performance, the Maia Roxie Crystal Gem Lipstick Vibrator also has the terrible displeasure of being absolutely hideous.

Again, subjective, but who thought that a sex toy could be updated by being given a control section and cover that would likely make even Lady Gaga recoil in disapproval?

Okay, ranting over for a moment.

The Maia Roxie Crystal Gem Lipstick Vibrator is a small bullet vibrator intended for mostly clitoral use and retailing at $30.00.

This toy has an overall length of 4 inches and an insertible length of 2.5 inches. It overall width is 1 inches but that’s accounting for its chunky outer configuration. In reality it comes in slightly slimmer and very accommodating for people who like a smaller sized bullet.

This toy may be like a bullet but its overall design is more lipstick like, which plays in with the *ahem* ‘aesthetics* of this toy. Namely that it has an outer casing and so might look similar to a lipstick concealed underneath its cover.

This also gives this bullet bonus points in terms of being discreet and unnoticeable when fully covered.

In an odd choice, this bullet has both a plastic case built in to its design and a little black satin bag that you can store it in long term.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m always happy when a toy gives a storage method – it’s just I was pretty sure that the toy’s plastic case was the storage method, so why the additional baggy?

Oh well, chalk it up to a win for those who like black storage bags and leave it at that.

In addition to the black storage bag, this toy also has a 1 year warranty, is submersible, and has 10 different functions. It’s USB rechargeable and a single charge will give you up to 2 hours of battery life.

The 10 different functions of this toy can be controlled with a single button shape like a…well…’diamond’ at the base of this toy. Pressing and holding it for approximately 3 seconds will allow the toy to either turn on or off where its multiple buttons will filter through the different settings of this toy.

The toy itself is made from ABS plastic and is coated with a silicone layer. This silicone is non-porous, phthalate-free, and completely body-safe. This toy has a sleek matte configuration with two slight wavy indentations on the shaft. I cant; say that these do anything for the quality of the toy’s performance, but they do add a nice touch to the toy visually (and this time I actually mean it).

The toy is luminous pink externally and has a geometric metallic pink control section and plastic case. A single control button is less than ideal for 10 different functions but is at least a little more merciful than 20+ different vibrations, so there’s a little win to be had there.

What I will say about the geometric base is that it does make the toy easier to hold on to during use. Add to the fact that the lipstick element of this toy means you can place it more flatly on the clit or go for a pinpoint approach and there are quite a few components of success hidden within this toy’s design.

If only its vibrations were good.

Perhaps I’m being a bit harsh on this bullet but that’s probably because I’ve felt what this company can do with a little more size and a slightly better motor and voila! It’s a success story.

Alas, this toy’s motor gives it vibrations which are shuddering but shallow. Quivering but to the point of faltering. In short, they come up short.

Even on this toy’s highest setting it failed to even register in terms of getting my clit throbbing. Meanwhile the only clenching that came from my vaginal muscles was a deep sighing clench of disapproval followed by what almost felt like a frowning closing at what I had chosen to use as my toy for the evening.

Thankfully I have many other toys close, so my genitals were giddy after a momentary switch, but every time with the Maia Roxie Crystal Gem Lipstick Vibrator was exactly the same.

In fact, as I write this review I have the Maia Roxie Crystal Gem Lipstick Vibrator in my bra and, to be honest with you, I barely feel a thing. Sure, I can hear it, and I can feel that it’s on my skin, but the sensation registers with such little substance that a particularly strong itching feeling in my right hand shoulder is currently warranting more of my mind’s attention.

Final Thoughts

That’s a pretty damning review…I’m not going to lie…But I can’t really put many positives to a toy of this kind.

I suppose the biggest positive is that I know the company is capable of making better toys, and that they don’t cost much more, so if you are won over by the design choices of this company (and power to you if you are, because don’t let me step down your style).

If you do like really, really gentle vibrations then you might also appreciate this toy too, but it’s a long shot.

If you can find it in a store first then I’d recommend trying a sample version there. Alternatively, I’d recommend you buying this one only if you’re absolutely confident that gentle vibrations are the best way forward for you.

Otherwise this toy is rather vexing in many different ways, chief among them being its complete and utter lack of potency.

Recommend to:

  • People who like very gentle vibrations.
  • People who like the design.
  • People who like the lipstick shape.

Do Not Recommend to:

  • People who dislike gentle vibrations.
  • People who dislike these designs.
  • People who dislike single button controls.

Lelo Mia 2 Red review

I’m a little bit gutted really.

Y’see the idea of this review was to have a chance to look at the Lelo Mia 2 Red. The reasoning being that, although I’ve reviewed the Mia 2, there is a certain degree to psychology which suggests that colour does matter in life.

Colour therapy, for example, is something that matters and is practiced by some therapists. Widening that a bit, Art Therapy is regularly implemented nowadays. Heck, it’s the only form of therapy provided by the NHS in my area for those who suffer with an eating disorder. Sucks to be you if you’re a bulimic with a hatred for Bauhaus

So, yeah, red is one of my favourite colours. Red is ‘on brand’ and the Red Mia 2 is currently on sale too (and very Christmas appropriate, or Valentine’s for that matter…or Halloween…basically most holidays involve red) so I was super duper excited to receive, review, and discuss the Lelo Mia 2 Red.

The only problem?

I accidentally got sent a ‘Deep Rose’ one.

…Bugger.

The Lelo Mia 2 Red Deep Rose

Deep Rose, I think we can all agree, is not red.

Sure, it’s nice, but to my mind it lacks a certain je ne sais quoi, as someone trying to sound fancy might say.

Part of that will be down to expectation, of course. In life we expect certain things to be a certain colour and that expectation influences our experiences more than anything else. Case in point: Tomato ketchup. Do you really think that that is naturally brilliant cherry red? Heck no! Sure, tomatoes are red and a sauce made from them is quite rouge, but a homemade tommy sauce will differ quite a bit from the standardized red offering of supermarket stores and that’s just how we want it. Once Heinz actually launched green tomato ketchup in a bid to target a ‘younger market’ it didn’t end well. To be fair, it rarely does.

In a famous 1973 study a guy called Wheatley sat a bunch of guests down for a meal of steaks, chips, and peas. Classic.

People happily tucked in and enjoyed themselves immensely bar one thing – the lights were down incredibly dim. That dimness was a specific illuminosity level which, after Wheatley had received positive feedback for the food, was then taken away to reveal that the steaks people had been eating were blue, the chips were green, and the peas were (appropriately) Mia 2 Red. Most of the diners suddenly felt incredibly ill, with a fair few of them rushing off to the bathroom to give an altogether more graphic appraisal of the meal.

Such is the power of colour when it comes to our expectations and enjoyment.

Which is why we should never underestimate the power of colour (or our expectation of colour) when it comes to sex toys. Colours are an empowering, social, emotional, cultural, and personal way for us to engage with and interact with the things we invite in our lives, sex toys being a pretty friggin intimate thing to interact with.

Red as a colour is often attributed with danger, thrills, passion, action and allure. Hence for those who appreciate red the Mia 2 Red is pretty much a dream come true.

Deep Rose is a variation of pink, with pink being more about love, romance, softness, empathy, and delicate intimacy. Having said that, the deeper and darker variation of pink that deep rose embodies is rather striking – almost like a purple – and invites quite a few of the same emotions or descriptors that red might. There is also somewhat of a maturity to ‘deep rose.’ It looks and feels like a vibrator that is akin to fine wine. Professional to levels that are almost sordid, and entirely primed for a meeting with one’s genitals.

So I suppose the most interesting part of my experience with the Mia 2 Red wasn’t the red, but rather the disparity of red vs rich pink and then how that altered and defined my sexual experience with the vibrator I found myself owning.

The great thing about doing so with the Mia 2 is that this to is pretty much brilliant even with the colour variation placed to one side. Waterproof, USB rechargeable, discreet, and with 6 different settings, the Lelo Mia 2 is a classy vibe and performs with all the grace and finesse that its design might suggest.

At 4.4 inches by 09. inches the Lelo Mia 2 is not a ‘bullet vibe’ and fits more appropriately in to that ‘lipstick’ category, which is good because that’s exactly what it’s trying to be.

This means that the Lelo Mia 2 is made with an ABS case, which transfers its vibrations with a good amount of clarity. The vibrations themselves are adjustable in terms of intensity and start off with a lovely and gentle hum before increasing more in depth and rumble than anything else. The smooth hum of this vibrator persists throughout and is the predominant sensation which is a really nice element of the toy. In terms of use it translates to reliable climaxes which are almost always louder than the toy itself (which is near whisper quiet).

I have never had a bad experience with the Lelo Mia 2, and do think that it provides a very good travel vibe option, or a general by-the-bed option for those who like or need something a little smaller or more discreet. It’s a real winner in many regards.

What isn’t a winner, however, is the fact that you have to unscrew its ‘cap’ of a top section in order to reveal the USB for charging. I personally am dreadful at keeping an eye on the cap, especially considering I have a pet that likes to steal anything small and portable, meaning that I’m often left on the hunt for this toy’s cap in inconvenient moments. I’m sure you can imagine the frustration of this.

Other downsides of this toy are more subjective, though; things like the firmness of the material, the rounded tip of this toy’s vibrating shaft, or the vibrations lacking a rough juddering rumble (which some people prefer). These aren’t things to worry about unless you know that you have very strict preferences and are seeing a clash.

In all other cases the Lelo Mia 2 is a very good toy selection and also comes in a nice box for gift giving. You can always rely on Lelo when it comes to presenting a certain persona.

Final Thoughts

This review started with colours and so it makes sense that it end with some colour talk too, especially given that the Mia 2 comes in other colours as well.

Deep black and a more babyish pastel pink are the other colours on other, allowing for a certain amount of aesthetic diversity with this product for those who want to dabble in colour psychology themselves.

As for my colour journey. I would be lying if I said that Deep Rose was just as good as Red in my mind, but I’m willing to make my peace with it due to the overall effectiveness of this vibrator.

I can, and likely always will, recommend the Lelo Mia 2 and feel like users will be coloured with delight if they choose to purchase one.

Recommend to:

  • People who like smaller vibes.
  • People who like intensity variation.
  • People who need a discreet vibe.

Do Not Recommend to:

  • People who dislike Lelo.
  • People who prefer thumpy vibrations.
  • People who dislike every colour available (wha…?)

Most Quiet Vibrators: Which Vibrators Are The Quietest?

When I was studying at University I was had a friend that came to me completely mortified.

Apparently her and her partner had been in the process of enjoying each other’s company when, due to the audible sound of a vibrator, one of her room mates were notified of the situation. They then proceeded to grab their phone, linger by the door and record the entire love-making occasion (or the audio, at least).

That person is what is officially known as ‘A Scumbucket.’

Not only is it extremely offensive to record someone’s private activities but, seriously? Hauling up at someone’s door just to record some buzzing, moaning noises, and the occasional heavy breathing? Where is your life at if that’s your idea of a perfectly suitable evening activity. I hope that person looks back at that incident sometimes wondering what the fuck they were doing because, for my friend, it was a devastating occasion.

When many of us think of sex we often consider it to be a screaming, roaring occasion. More than once I’ve wrote a review where I considered the quality of the toy based on the amount of involuntary moans it elicited in me, or how loud I chose to shout out. However, for some people quiet sex isn’t just preferable but may actually be a necessity.

Student accommodation is just one of the locational restrictions that might necessitate quiet sex but so too could living at home, living in sheltered accommodation, staying in a hotel or with family, or living with kids.

There are few mood killers as potent as looking in the doorway and seeing your tyke staring on, wondering what kind of tickling match their parents are getting in to.

Religious restrictions, social, or emotional constraints might also mean that silence is incredibly important. For some people self-pleasure comes with a high level of risk and this risk needs to be given due consideration.

In such situations a quiet vibrator or silent sex toy will likely be required – or, at the very least, desired – but what sex toys are the quietest?

Every damned sex toy company out there seems to claim that their products are ‘whisper quiet’ even if there’s absolutely no way that this would be possible. So how can people cut through the BS?

I’m not going to sell you some idea that there is one single toy out there that is the clear and most definitive quiet vibrator or sex toy. Instead, I’m going to give you a rough idea of which toys I have found to be most productive for silent sex.

Hopefully this will help those who, for one reason or another, truly need it.

#1 Smaller Toys

Sorry guys, but I rarely find a wand without a roar to its motor. It’s just not logistically likely.

If silence is your number one priority then you’re going to be looking at smaller toys. I’m talking bullets, eggs, beads, and the like. App-based toys often fall in to this category too, and these are great if you want precise control of the sound and strength of your toy.

These toys come with the downside that they are often less powerful then their counterparts but this isn’t always the case.

Motor technology has come quite a far way in toys since I first started reviewing products and I’ve found that a lot of modern mini vibes pack a punch all their own. Having said that, there does tend to be a lot of variety in strength, potency, and sound.

My advice? Read reviews for any small vibe that you’re considering. If in doubt then reach out to a sex toy reviewer and ask just how quiet the toy is. We don’t bite and love to hear from our readers.

#2 Modern Suction-Based Toys

Don’t get one of the older models – they sound like a choo-choo train trying to let passengers know that they’ve rocked up at the platform.

Most of the newer modern suction-based toys, on the other hand, have really focused on getting themselves as close to a gentle pitter-patter noise as they possibly can. Most have succeeded too, which I’m happy to report.

For bonus silent points always make sure that you’ve positioned your suction toy before turning it on and then make sure that you turn it off after climax before removing it from the body. This will minimize the sound even more.

#3 Waterproof Toys

The benefit here isn’t necessarily that these toys are quieter but, instead, that the situations in which waterproof toys can be used in are noise-reducing or distracting.

When a shower is pitter pattering then the sound of a vibrator is likely to come out as the loudest noise.

Conversely, when a vibrator is submerged, its noise is obfuscated by the protective surface of the water secluding it.

In both cases the result is the same – a toy that is less likely to be heard and a user that is more likely to be satisfied.

#4 Electrostimulators 

I know, I know – these sound intimidating but most E-Stim toys are completely in your control in terms of potency, they start with a very gentle tingling (almost a tickle) and you never need to try the more intense stinging or jolting sensations if you don’t want to.

Electricity doesn’t really produce much of a noise unless you’re really ramping things up. Neon Wands are the exception from my experience but, even then, the sound is much quieter than many toys.

Plus you get to play around with different sensations with such toys, which is always a fun experience.

#5 Toys You Can Try In Advance

This one is a given but it shouldn’t be underestimated.

The toy most suited to your needs is one that you’ve had a chance to try in advance.

Go in to a local adult store that has testers and allow yourself to try the toys they have on display. Go for the above categories to eliminate any toys that won’t be suitable and then try out what’s on offer.

Focus on sound, strength, shape, and size in order to figure out if the toy will meet your needs. I know sound is your priority but there’s no point getting a quiet toy if it does nothing for you in practice.

Also remember that the store itself might be producing considerable noise and consider this in contrast to the location you will likely use your toy in.

Even with the sound difference, however, this is likely going to be the best way to determine the right toy for you.

So There You Have It!

My quick guide to finding a quiet vibrator or toy that is likely to meet your needs.

I hope you find this article useful and please do comment if you know of or want to recommend any silent toys.

Helping each other out is one of the most awesome parts of the adult community, so let’s speak out loud about our silent favourites!

The Lelo Ina 2 review

You know it. I know it: I am not a rabbit fan.

Rabbits are the jack of all trades (and master of none) of the adult industry.

They try their very best to cater to both the clitoral and the G-Spot needs of their users (which they hope will be all users) and then, as a result, fail to ever truly target or perfect the art of stimulating either.

The clitoral prong is too short, too long, too buzzy, too weak, or too pokey.

The internal shaft is too long to balance with the external prong. It’s too powerful to allow for the external vibration to be felt effectively. Too curvy to offer reasonable adjustments, or too straight to hit the G-Spot.

These are all issues that I have come across with rabbits. Not once….not twice…but pretty much every damned time.

For products names after Leporidae, rabbit vibrators have very little kick to them (unless you consider the kick in the teeth they give most disappointed users valid).

With all that said, I’m about to throw a spanner in my rant: I don’t completely hate the Lelo Ina 2. Neither do I love it, but I don’t hate it.

I know, I must be hopping mad, right?

The Lelo Ina 2

The Lelo Ina 2 is the Lelo Mona 2 with a clitoral prong literally pronged on to it.

That makes it sound less glamorous then if I were to give it some in-depth and fanciful description but it’s pretty accurate, with only a few minor exceptions.

I’d personally say that the Lelo Ina 2 has a little bit more curvature in its internal shaft then the Lelo Mona 2 but this makes logical sense – it’s got to make room for that clitoral prong, after all, and it accommodates that by waving its way around the clitoral prong, as if dancing its way to the side lines with a seductive glance (there’s the fanciful language).

In terms of dimensions the Lelo Ina 2 is similar to the Lelo Mona 2 too. Its full length is 7.9 inches, with the insetable length being about 4 inches. Its overall circumference is a very friendly 4.5 inches and its clitoral prong is about 2.4 inches in length. All very accommodating in theory.

It also comes with an option of being bright orange or brilliant green which is friggin amazing if you ask me.

Especially so as the Lelo Ina 2 is quite a dated model now. Back when the Lelo Ina 2 was released toys that weren’t purple, pink, black, or blue were a rarity. This product broke the mould in this way and works to remind us of the fact that Lelo weren’t always an extremely problematic company in the eyes of many.

For those who don’t think colour makes a difference then consider how you would feel sliding a shit-brown sex toy in to your body versus stroking your body with a glowing orange offering.

I know which one I’d prefer.

The dated element of the Lelo Ina 2 doesn’t just reflect its innovations, however, and this toy does have some sadly dated elements to it.

The biggest of these would be the little silicone tag which is used to block the charging section and make this toy 100% waterproof and, as a result, I wouldn’t rely on it for consistent submersible use. This does make the Lelo Ina 2 easy to clean, though, and the perks of being rechargeable and coming with a storage bag, lubricant, a warranty and a guarantee are all still intact with this luxury toy. Not to mention the packaging, which is absolutely perfect for a decadent gift to someone you love, fuck, or just for yourself.

The Leo Ina 2’s surface is a mixture of gorgeously soft silicone for the shaft and prong and firm ABS plastic for the handle and the interior structure of the shaft. This offers a shaft that is firm and perfect for adding pressure, a prong that is slightly more flexible in terms of bend (but still very firm in terms of squish), and a handle that is smooth, distinct, and easy to use.

The controls for the Lelo Ina 2 are very self-explanatory and help users easily filter through its different gradient intensities and 8 different pleasure settings.

I’m not a fan of pleasure settings but, my gods, do I love the gradient adjustments that can be achieved with the Lelo Ina 2. I’m a big fan of giving users as much easy and effective control as is possible and the Lelo Ina 2 succeeds at this.

The vibrations, too, are incredibly impressive with the Lelo Ina 2.

The Lelo Ina 2’s product page gimmick is that it will provide ‘blended orgasms.’ Which is a fancy term for saying you orgasm with both G-Spot and clitoral stimulation. Ie. The type of orgasm that most people will achieve (as few people orgasm from internal stimulation alone).

Far more noticeable to my eyes is the almost ‘blended’ aspect of Lelo’s vibration style, which manages to have a near-buzzy hum that remains ever-present on its surface and in my mind during use but which is also met with a deep and profound rumble which travels deeper and offers immense gratification. It’s almost as if Lelo have made the same perfect atmosphere as watching a movie with a snack is. Sure, popcorn is nice, and movies are good, but combine the two and you’ve got something really special.

Thank the sex gods, that this toy’s clitoral prong is actually strong and not stereotypically superficial either. I am so grateful for this and find clear pleasure even when focusing my mind mainly on the clitoral prong. Good job, Lelo, you did a good’un here.

What is less successful, however, is the shape of this vibrator.

Yes, the bunny curse strikes again and this toy clamps down with its prong quite considerably and has an *amazing* G-spot curve which will only ever be optimised if both prong and shaft are in alignment and this is where measurements will vary for some people. The two issues here – comfort of the clitoral prong’s pressure and relatively set shape of the Lelo Ina 2 means that this toy just won’t fit everyone, nor even feel right when it does fit.

Don’t take my word for it though – look at the Lelo Ina 2 product page and you will see an overall rating of 3 stars and a slew of reviews where this toy is either absolutely perfect or just does not work at all. The main culprit being the fit.

This is a shame but it’s also an inevitability. Rabbits rarely relate. That should be a sex toy saying for the amount that it seems to be proven correct.

In terms of other downsides it’s harder to fault the Lelo Ina 2. Except on the price. Hot damn is this an expensive toy. Especially considering it is hit and miss in terms of compatibility. A costly stab in the dark is rarely alluring.

If you are a rabbit fan then you’ve got a better chance of loving…no…adoring the Lelo Ina 2. I certainly like it for its benefits, but those who can’t get along with rabbits, clitoral pressure, or set shapes may have little success with this nearly-successfully bunny.

Final Thoughts

The Lelo Ina 2 is commendable to me.

I admire the shape of the shaft and its firmness when hitting the G-Spot.

I love the feel of its silicone.

I lose myself in the blended power of its vibrations.

And I marvel at the strength its put in to its clitoral prong.

But these are individual components of a product.

Combine them altogether and the end product is less successful than the sum of its parts.

Again, if you are a bunny lover then I think the Lelo Ina 2 is one that you shouldn’t miss. If anything I’d say it’s a must-try toy.

Outside of these conditions, however, the Lelo Ina 2 is a very nice toy with addendum of “It’s a shame that it’s a rabbit” and that’s just not good enough considering its price.

Take this to heart when considering if this toy is right for you.

Recommend to:

  • People who love rabbits.
  • People who like G-Spot curves.
  • People who want strong vibrations.

Do Not Recommend to:

  • People who dislike rabbits.
  • People who dislike firm clitoral pressure.
  • People who prefer gentle vibrations.