When you imagine the perfect woman in your mind, what’s the breathtaking image that appears first? There is no rocket science involved in this case, but it is probably a combination of an attractive face, a large set of bosoms, and a perky butt. Yeah, we know what most men think about, and we are also sure you’re nodding your head in agreement.

But, have you ever wondered what qualities women look for in a man? If your answer is the size of your penis, then you’re dead wrong! Brandy Engler, Ph.D., who is a Los Angeles-based sex therapist and also the author of The Men on My Couch, says that penis size is the last thing on a woman’s mind when imagining your sexual resume.

What do women want?

Get rid of the insecurity about your measurements and focus on your skills to be a good partner and lover. Remember, sex for women begins long before entering the bedroom, and if you can entice her beforehand with naughty text and images, the chances are that you’ll end up having mind blowing sex. Everything being said, the penis does play a role but not in the way you imagine. Check out this list of five things a woman wants in a man:

  1. Your undivided attention: If there is one thing that women want, which all men can agree on, is attention. There is no better way to establish an emotional bond than by making your partner feel that she is being heard, and her opinion is valuable. Every time you decide to check your phone, turn the TV channel, or place excessive importance on other things when having a conversation, you pay the way for security and lack of self-worth creep in. Show her that she is important, and your conversations matter to you a lot.
    When you’re out on a first date with a charming lady, demonstrate that you’re listening by repeating what she said in your own words. Don’t just sound like a parrot, show enthusiasm through your words and maintain eye contact. You’d want to ask her about the things she values, her dreams and ambitions, her favorite holiday destinations, among other things. There is nothing sexier to moment than a man who listens.
  2. To be taken by surprise: If you thought the days of flowers and chocolates were long gone, then think again. While the fad of holding a bouquet in your arm behind your back and patiently waiting for your lover to show up may be passé, you can still show your lady love care and affection by surprising her once in awhile. You don’t need to take her to a fancy restaurant or by her and expensive red gown; you just need to plan an idea good enough to show her that you care.
    Don’t just offer to take her to a movie, make a reservation at a restaurant she has been dying to dine or simply take her out on a long spontaneous drive. To keep your woman emotionally engaged and frisky in the bedroom, you have to prepare for it well in advance. Keep no stone unturned to show how much you value her presence in your life.
  3. A man willing to learn: Everybody likes and enthusiastic partner who doesn’t shy away from admitting their shortcomings or willingness to learn. Don’t be THAT guy who only cares about himself, thus earning scorn from the women he’s been with. To be excellent in the bedroom, you have to clear the channels for open communication so that your partner feels comfortable in telling you about her deepest desires.
    Taking physical cues from the morning and facial expression is good, but nothing can beat a heart to heart talk about fetishes and fantasies. Don’t just jump right into sex, explore every inch of her body – kiss her in the erotic zones, play with her hair, and whisper dirty words into her ears to turn her on more than ever. When going down on her, ask about what feels most pleasurable and follow her lead to become the best lover she has ever been with.
  4. Compliments, compliments, and more compliments: Forget the insecurity you have about your penis size, you’d be astonished if you ever find out how insecure women are about their bodies. If you notice your partner feeling nervous in baring it all, then it can be taken as a sign that she is not yet ready to become entirely vulnerable and is insecure about her body. Use this opportunity to tell her how beautiful she sexy she looks in her matching undergarments and how you can’t wait to take all the clothes of her.
    Timely compliments can help establish a greater emotional connection so that she feels comfortable getting naked with you. And don’t just compliment her when you’re in bed; tell her how cute she looks wearing the kitchen apron, hug her from behind when she’s least expecting it, and compliment on her imperfections by saying there is no one else you’d rather be with than her.
  5. A man who is comfortable in his own skin: By now, you probably have some useful ideas on how to turn your woman on and keep her interested in the relationship. Seriously, it’s time that you put this advice into practice and work towards becoming the best version of yourself. Stop fixating on the size of your penis and work towards developing your personality that she finds irresistible. You are awesome enough by being yourself, so the last thing you’d need to try is to be someone else.
    Next time you find yourself in the bedroom and ripping each other’s clothes off due to an overwhelming sexual desire, that’s the time you can reaffirm that you’ve got all the advice right, and she can’t get enough of you. Use your penis as a tool to give her a good time, but not as the means to all ends of satisfaction.